How do i convince my girlfriend that losing her virginity isn't as bad as she thinks?
We have done literally everything besides me "eating her out" and of course having sex. It seems i get to third base with her all the time, and she even tells me herself she wants to have sex. But the deeper into the conversations we get, the more she tells me how nervous and self-consious she is about losing her virginity. Her friends have told her stories that I believe may have thrown her off. But im sure she trusts me and we both love each other to the point where we both want this. I myself have done this before, and she knows it and respects it. I keep on telling her it won't hurt for long and it will be worth it now, but she seems to think it will just be a bloody mess and she will feel out of place. What can I do, or tell her to let her know that losing her virginity isn't as bad and painful as she thinks it is? I want it to be special for her because I love her very much and would never want to hurt her.
Kirino2009-06-25T11:08:16Z
Favorite Answer
If you are in a state of feeling that you need to "convince" her of anything that she isn't ready to do then you are absolutely playing the wrong game. Give her space and time and let her be ready when she is ready. The interesting paradox is that if this is the case and you stop pressuring her and show her that "giving in" is not a condition to retain your love then she will almost assuredly comply on her own.
On the other hand, if it is clear that she is wanting to move forward and is merely scared then I would ask her what she needs to feel more comfortable. Again, show her that what is important to you is her comfort, security and feeling loved and cherished and that that is your motivation for wanting to to go all the way... rather than just getting what "all men" are after.
Do something insanely romantic and sensual for her... give her a bath with a salt scrub. Create an array of essential oils and anoint her body. Put a blindfold on her and tickle her body all over with various types of imaginative things (while never taking your clothes off at all... it's all about service to her -- at least in this case for earning her trust).
BTW, I also get that she is very intimidated by the fact that she's not the first... you might explore that as well. She may be afraid of putting herself in the position of being compared to another in that manner and for that reason is apprehensive about going there at all.
Even though you love her and she loves you sometimes it is normal for a person to be in the situation she is in right now She just needs more time Don't pressure her to do it because that is wrong If she said she wants to do it then make her feel secure and safe around you and let her know how much she means to you
how do you know how painful it is for a girl to lose her virginity? Don't pressure her into something she obviously isn't really ready to do. If you love her and respect her, you will let her make this decision on her own.
Well if she isn't ready then there is no way you can convince her to lose it. When she is good and ready then she will let you know. Just wait it out till she knows that she is ready.
okaii... so, if yuu think tht she really wants this but she.s just holding back because she.s scared, then keep reassuring her tht it.s really not that bad[take it frm me, it.s not tht totally horrible. and there wnt be alot of blood.], and that yuu love her, and that this is something yuu want to share with her. however, dnt tlk about it too frequently and dnt try to incesively convice her becuz she mite feel pressured. but, if she.s acting really scared, and she repeatedly tells yuu she doesn.t want to, then maybe she.s just not ready yet. give it time and leave it alone for awhile, wen she.s ready she.ll let yuu kno.