My son just died from a drug OD. Why do I not feel remorse?
I just learned that my 25 year old son just died from a drug overdose (everything points to heroin but the Med.Ex. hasn't received the toxicology reports yet) Yes, I am terribly shocked and sad - but for some strange reason I feel more "at peace" than remorseful. He had dealt with addiction for at least a decade.
I read about parents in this situation going ballistic - tearing their hair and screaming and all that. Why do I feel at peace, almost grateful? I mean, he was my only child and I loved him despite the drugs... and now he is dead for heaven's sake.
Am I still in shock or what? Any parents out there who may have gone through this kind of tragedy have any good advice for me?
Thanks for not being snide or mean in your answers.
Anonymous2009-08-06T23:05:28Z
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I am sorry. Maybe you know he is in a better place. You know he's not hurting himself anymore. I also thank you for your advice about my dad. I hope you'll be okay and that peace and good tidings will come your way. ya know maybe your son and my dad are talking in heaven right now. lol. if you believe in that. I don't want to be offensive....But thanks for your advice again.
How utterly awful for you. I am so very sorry for your loss, and I am relieved that at least there is some element of justice in that the person who supplied and encouraged him is facing prosecution. During this time, when you are in shock and left with the horror, the loss, the terrible sadness of what has happened, talking to your family and friends is probably the best thing you can do. But in the long run, if you can't find a way through, please do rethink your attitude to psychotherapy. I don't know what you mean by saying you don't 'believe' in talking to a professional. It has been deeply helpful for hundreds of thousands of people and if you need such help I really hope you won't refuse it.
I don't think anyone can truly know what you are going through, unless they went through it themselves. I haven't, but I feel like I can kind of understand what you might be going through. It was probably pretty exhausting for you living day by day wondering if he would die this day, or the next. It probably is a relief knowing that he can't harm himself anymore and isn't in any pain anymore. I am sure you are probably in a little shock too, but I don't know. The fact that you said you are shocked and sad, says something about your love for him. Don't hate yourself for not being like other parents. Not everyone deals with everything the same way. You know your son better than anyone else.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can not imagine nor judge your reaction/feelings on the situation so I won't try.
I will encourage you to speak to a professional because there are ranges of emotions and stages people go through when mourning the loss of loved ones.
I wish you the very best and will keep you in my prayers.
You are at peace, as well as he is. He's in God's arms now, MUCH safer than he was here on earth. Celebrate death, it brings a whole new life. A much, much better and happy life that is eternally joyous and perfect.