Parents question regarding single parents/married parents?
So I was having a conversation with my daughter's daycare administrator the other day and she was talking about the fact that she has so few married parents in her daycare. She said that she could tell a big difference between the children of the married parents and those of the single parents.
I want to hear objective opinions from both sides. I am not judging anyone or their parenting skills I just want honest straightforward opinions. Do you as a single or married parent notice a difference?
2009-09-09T07:33:27Z
also could you tell me what country you live in and if the USA what area of the country you live (i.e. southwest, northeast, midwest, west coast etc)
2009-09-09T07:47:23Z
Listen Lady I deleted all previous questions yesterday that had anything to do with you....so there is no need to continue poking at me. Just answer the question. At least I am woman enough not to block you and still seek an opinion from you!
I might add that I have seen both sides. I was raised by a single mother and my father was absent. My mom remarried when I was 13 and I had the benefit of two parents from then on.
2009-09-09T07:52:02Z
Ok Lady clearly my problem is not my writing but my reading skills! I just reread what you said and my apologies you were talking about the daycare worker not me. Sorry about that! maybe I am a gigantic prat afterall.
2009-09-09T07:57:54Z
Yes Lady please water under the bridge...apparantly I needed two cups of coffee yesterday not just the one. Wil lyou unblock me now I promise to not be a prat!
Country Livin'2009-09-09T07:55:45Z
Favorite Answer
As a married parent, I definitely see the benefit. As a mother, I could never fill the role of a father. My husband has a different approach to many situations, and their are just some issues he is better at dealing with. I am not great at being the disciplinarian. We have a wonderful son, who is very intelligent, well-behaved and independent. Once in a while, he will really get out of hand and because he normally listens so well I will be at a total loss. So, I get to pull the "That's it, I am getting your father!" card. Also, I am not good at sports. My husband taught my son to excel in all sports and he even taught him to ride a bike with no training wheels in one day. He teaches my son how to be a man, and he teaches me how to let him fall. As a mother, I am naturally protective, I want to catch my son every time he stumbles. My husband has taught me that my son needs to learn to climb a tree by falling off that low branch with no one to catch him, he needs to learn to ride a bike by skinning his knees a few times. If I am always there to catch him, he will never learn his limits, he will never learn how to land. I couldn't raise my boy to be a man without a man showing me how it's done; how else would a woman know? My husband could never be a mother. He doesn't hear every little cough at night, and he can't tell if my son has a fever with a single look. He will never master the art of kissing a boo-boo so that it immediately feels better. He could never nurture or comfort my son's little feelings the way I do, instilling compassion, empathy and a loving heart. He could never raise our son to be a real man without me.
Well, technically we aren't married, but we are in a two-parent household. Honestly I haven't noticed so much that a child is from a two-parent or single-parent household. What I've noticed that if the father is active in the child's life they seem to be happier. There are two little girls in my daughter's day care class who always cry and won't play much and (while I shouldn't know this about them) one has a father who just went to jail, and the other's father works away from home. The one who's father works away from home doesn't give any money to his wife or two children (they were living in a van until the day care asked for donations anonymously and gave them enough money to move into a low-income home).
So, while some kids come from homes where the parents are married it doesn't necessarily mean they are any better adjusted. My boyfriend and I aren't married. We're raising two girls (his 6 year old lives with us full time), and are expecting another. We have strong parenting beliefs and we're both very active in our children's lives. I volunteer at our 6 year old's school and our 4 month old's day care when I have time. He makes sure to read to them every night and we eat as a family every night. Even a single parent can make sure to do things "family oriented." So I don't think there's much of a difference.
I was a single parent who is now a married parent. Depending on the support structure of a single parent, the is no need for any differences. Single parents that are on there own may let some things slide that a good married couple wouldn't. Nothing bad, but maybe due to time bath's are every other day instead of every day. But even married parents can let things slide. My husband works out of town and sometimes bath time is only a quick soak to get to dirt off and I will have time to wash hair tomorrow, or maybe the nest day. Behavior does not have to be any different. If there is 1 parent or 2, rules need to be set and followed, and people don't need to be married to do that. I see no difference in how my children are raised from when I was a single parent of 1 to now a married parent of 3. Only when my husband is home things go faster as he can dry and dress one while I wash the next one instead of me having to do it all alone.
Considering the source is acknowledging that she doesn't have much of a group to base such an observation on, I would suggest it be ignored.
Secondly, there are differences in all children, be it children of a happily married couple, a miserably married couple, a divorce couple, or 100% single parent.
So, no, I do not notice a difference based upon the marital status of the parents but based upon the parenting styles, or many times, lack of.
The source being the day care lady, stating "she has so few married parents in her daycare", how can she base a comparison when the single parents outweigh the married.
well i'm not a single parent, but my boyfriend isn't my daughters father, and i've raised her myself for most of her life. in my opinion the behavior of the child depends on the parents, single or married. bad relationships between a child's parents can cause them some problems though. From what i notice, the children i know vary in their behavior but it's not because they have one parent or two. i know some very well behaved kids that are being raised by only one parent, and some that are complete brats that have both parents. and even vise versa. i believe that my boyfriend has played a positive role in the up bringing of my daughter. before it was so hard to do everything i needed to do as a single mother, and he helps a lot and teaches me how to be a better parent and because of him helping me, i feel like i'm a great mom and i have a great kid. but something couples i know that are married and have one or even 2 kids, their kids are brats, spoiled, etc. one reason why there are probably so few married parents in the daycare is because now-a-days moms who have husbands that provide for them, like to stay home with their children, while single parents don't have a choice.