Full mouth kisses Flood my heart with Mind blown blisses.
Your arms enfold My heart melts with Heat to refine gold.
I see love in your eyes, Deep heaven’s promise with Hope and divine surprise.
Your touch enflamed Passionate responses with Desire untamed.
2010-02-06T02:22:53Z
Gideon on fire- thank you for your suggestions. Yours changes the essence of my poem but is good in itself.
2010-02-06T02:39:46Z
octogen- Glad it helped you remember. I hope it is safe to read to the people in the nursing home.
Anonymous2010-02-06T00:01:46Z
Favorite Answer
I like the imagery, however, they seem like four separate statements were i think they should flow into each other.
I see your poem like this:-
Be it Full mouth kisses that Flood my heart with Mind blown bliss. as our arms enfold and hearts melt with Heat that would refine the purest gold.
The love in your eyes, Deep from heaven’s promise my Hope from the divine As your touch inflames my Passion and there lies our responses with Desire untamed.
Kate, i think the critics would not get excited over this poem; but i am different i adore it.
Why ? I have lived it many, many times with an elderly partner who was a retired concert pianist.
An experience one cannot put into words; but you have come very, close to so doing.
If you lived near me i would invite you try and relive it with me..... Only if you were brave enough to face hours of orgasms, and be totally exhausted in blissful sleep.