I recently answered a question and apparently I didn't give the sugar coated adoption kool-aid kind of answer the person was looking for and I promtly got an e mail telling me to quit feeling sorry for myself and grow up. This person said they were also adopted and they were so grateful for the life they had with their adoptive parents....
I thought I had gotten past my "angry adoptee" phase....Maybe not.
I am no longer angry at my a parents for the lies they told me and the things that I went thru stemming from my adoption.
But am I still an angry adoptee??
I am as mad as H*ll that I didn't get to grow up with my siblings.
I am ticked off that even tho I have enough Cherokee blood to be a card carrying member of the tribe (my first mom's maiden name is even derived from the name of a reservation) I can't get my card or be recognised because I can't get my original birth certificate.
I hate the fact that it took me so many years and LOTS of therapy to deal with the "insecurities and self esteem issues that was a direct result of being adopted" (and that is my therapists words)
I'm even a little miffed that "adoptee" isn't considere a word according to Y!A's spell police there on the right of this post.
So am I still an angry adoptee??? And if so do ya think I have the right to be??
2010-04-26T21:26:54Z
ETA: I am also pretty put out my being called "silly" for expressing my feelings about adoption because they aren't all fuzzy bunny and unicorn farts...
Silly adoptee...I guess I should sit quietly in the corner and drink my Kool-aid with gratitude....
2010-04-26T21:34:32Z
ETA Allanas actually yes I have found much joy and happiness in my life, with my husband and kids even my adopted child (open adoption).
I have my first mom and brother and sisters in my life, I made peace with my amom before she died...I just get so sick of ppl who downplay the difficulies I went thru because I was adopted.
minimouse682010-04-26T21:43:19Z
Favorite Answer
Lol....the email wasnt from a PAP called Jamie was it?? Shes on fire with the nasty emails today. Odd really, I dont find you at all angry........ How dare we ungrateful, angry, bitter adoptees, who so obviously have no life outside of our hatred share our opinion with those who ask? Of course we have the right to be angry. Our lives and our identities were stolen from us, and then they told us that we had to be grateful for that theft.... Go figure.
Kidmindi, "Silly Girl!" From Your Many Previous Questions & Answers On Y!A, I Have Only Found Honesty, Sincerity, & Excellence Provided In Both. As Well, I Think You Are A Great Example Of Being A Good Human Being & Mother, In That You Strive To Always Better Yourself For All. My Guess Is You Are Right Where You Are Supposed Be In Your Life, So Just Keep Doing As You Have Been. And Know It's Ok To Feel However You Feel About Anything At Any Time, It's Your Individual Human Right. When You Think About It, The One Who Felt The Need To E-Mail You & Tell You Off Has The Bigger Issues Really. Too Funny!
Continue To Be The Beautiful Human Being That You Are, I Look Forward To Seeing More From You "Kid"!
No Worries..........Gods Speed
BTW: I Don't Believe In Peter Pan, Frankenstein Or Superman & My Favorite Kool-Aid Is Cherry !
it quite is humorous. i'm no longer sitting right here feeling indignant and bitter approximately my adoption. i'm disillusioned that regardless of each thing those years, people nonetheless have not discovered that adoption hurts people. That they might forget approximately that. If Tiger Lily quite believes that adoption reasons those harms, then why do we nonetheless enable it? the priority isn't that adoptees can no longer circulate on. the priority is that society is DOING those comparable issues TO greater babies. And no person seems to care. maximum "indignant and bitter" adoptees i understand are fairly relaxing, contented people. yet they're ill of watching what grew to become into achieved to them be visited upon yet another era. they're ill of their voices being positioned down by using people tell them to recover from it. they're uninterested in yelling from the rooftops in uncomplicated terms to be counseled that for the duration of uncomplicated terms some young ones experience discomfort and suffering, so we ought to consistently forget approximately it.
Hey, don't let them get to you. You are the one with healthy, rationale feelings that you have learned to express. Yet you still function with joy and happiness in your life.
Many people think adoptees who talk about their feelings; and even first moms in many cases, should be seen but not heard - just grateful for whatever they perceive adoption is. We know differently. One can have righteous indignation about what happened in our lives and help others by sharing our experience and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Zilch! I think it's only a problem if we can't get past the anger to deal with the rest of our lives. Or we take our anger our sideways on the wrong people and things in our lives. Sure doesn't sound like you do that.
The angry ones are those who think we just don't know when to shut up... LOL Keep talking - you make alot of sense.
Hell Yeah, You have the right to be angry! Don't you just love it when you when her some one say "grow up" or "everyone has problems" or my personal favorite " stop feeling sorry for your self and get over it". Don't let it get under your skin! In most cases, the people that are saying these things are just trying to start up some conflicts! I myself had a run in with one of those people here yesterday! And I guess she didn't like the fact that she was put in her place, because shortly after I spoke my mind, she deleted the question! What it comes down to is they don't have the slightest clue what there saying! There idea of having a problem is finding out that their local grocery store ran out of their favorite brand of hot dogs! They don't know what real problems are , they never will , and they need to stop trying to compare their little inconveniences to some one elses real problems......... Its been said many, many times that in order to judge some one , you need to walk a mile in their shoes! You would think that would of sunk in by now, but I guess that is just to much to hope for..........