My girlfriend and I just got back together. She's not acting right...help please!?

I'll start off with a little background info....I'm 20 years old and my girlfriend is 19 years old. We were High School Sweetheart's and I knew her 6 years prior to us dating(I was best friends with her brother all my life). I love her to death!!!!! We've been dating for near 2.5 years now. We've always been VERY close and have had a great relationship. We never broke up or had any major fights or anything. Well one day out of the blue about two weeks ago I got a text message saying I'm unhappy, I'm not sure what I want anymore blah blah blah and she ended up breaking up with me over a text message. She came to my house and we ended up back together within thirty or so minutes. Things were fine for a couple days and then bam it happened again just out of nowhere and it's happened 3 times since then. I ended up finding out from her that on the 3rd time we broke up(we've broke up 5 times within two weeks) that she met up with some guy from her work and he liked her blah blah blah come to find out he was some fat, hairy 34 year old with a 12 year old daughter and a few felonies. Yes you read that right it is 200% true! What she saw in him I don't know and neither does her family. Well she ended up telling him to leave her alone and we ended up getting past that. I'm skipping a ton of details but it's almost 4:00 in the morning and I'm too tired for details.

The last time we broke up was sort of a mutual agreement because she said she was so "stress free" when we weren't together and that she couldn't do what was best for her because she's so worried about me. I told her I was sorry I made her so unhappy and for "keeping her from things". She kept telling me she wasn't getting things out of the relationship she needed like for me to be more romantic and stuff. I'm not exactly sure how to do all of that I mean yeah I know some things but this is my FIRST serious relationship and it's like she's holding it over my head. Well after we broke up this last time(2 days ago) we broke up around 7 in the evening and I got a call from her at 10:30 that night asking if I'd meet up with her and I did. She said she had something she wanted to run by me and it was that me and her would still see each other and be around each other and everything and still be faithful to each other but we just weren't going to put the label "relationship" on it. I wasn't exactly sure what she meant by it but I agreed to it. Well she comes to my house after she gets out of work the next day and runs up to me and hugs me and we kissed for what seemed like 5 minutes and she was like i WANT you to be my boyfriend for sure. I agreed because I love her to death and care about her more than anything! I forgot to mention that we were also engaged before all this happened. We had plans of getting married. She acts weird now though. She was fine the night she told me she wanted me to be her boyfriend but now she's just flat out mean and she literally acts like she can't stand to be around me and like she hates me. I'm not being treated fairly by her because I'm being as sweet and nice as I can be TRYING MY HARDEST to make this work because that is what I want. She told me she wants to make it work also and she keeps telling me to stop worrying because I have absolutely nothing to worry about but I can't help it when she acts that way. She's also on Facebook on her phone and texting ALL the time now. She wasn't like that before. YAY for trust issues :( She told me when we got back together that she really wanted to make it work and that she was making a huge mistake letting me go so many times before and she was sorry and that she just couldn't throw 2.5 years away like that. It felt so good to hear that but now she's just plain mean and acts like she can't stand me. I don't know what to do. I've tried to talk to her about it but she just gets defensive and gets even more mad. She used to be so sweet. The only thing she tells me is that her job stresses her out and makes her hate her life. That's what she told me today and when I try to get further in depth talking about it with her she just drops the subject yet tells me I never talk to her about anything. I told her it wasn't fair that she takes her stress out on me I basically told her that she used me as a punching bag and she said she was sorry. I can go all day without seeing her and she'll stop by my house or something after work and when I see her I just get an instant attitude from her but she acts fine toward other people. I don't understand. I'm not doing anything wrong to her. She's acting like she's bi-polar or something! I try to talk to her about her problems but it usually turns into an argument when it should never even begin to be one. I'

2010-05-07T01:31:57Z

Extra info that may be helpful:..Her parents kept her on a very tight leash in high school and never let her do much. I went through my partying phase already and realized it wasn't for me. We both never drank, smoked or anything while together but I found out for the couple times we broke up that she was drinking and smoking cigarettes and now tells me she wants to have a drink every now and then and I said that's fine I don't care at all. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs but that is just my personal choice. A lot of people I have talked to have said she "has a wild hair to pick". They say it's just a phase though and that it's temporary. I told her and them that my love for her is NOT temporary...it is FOREVER. She really needs to realize that before it's too late! I found out form her cousin that everytime she broke up with me she'd call her cousin shortly after crying saying she was going to die if she didn't see me so I know she cares about me. I'm so confused in all this

2010-05-07T01:34:29Z

Sorry for the extremely long paragraph's I just figured the more details the better.

Immortal Technique2010-05-07T01:33:09Z

Favorite Answer

dude - it was 4am when you started writing this - that was two hours ago. and it was 5am when i started reading this.

so talk to her. you have to, HAVE to be able to communicate in a relationship. If you can't, then it's a problem and the relationship can't work out.

also it sounds like shes keeping a secret from you. But you need to tell HER all this. not us. And don't let her jerk you around like that... but talk!

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Bubbavet2010-05-07T01:50:39Z

It sounds like she has a lot of anger issues and there is more going on with this other person than she is willing to tell you. There may be a possibility she is more attracted to this other person than you are aware and he may fill some need in her life you are unable to satisfy. It would appear the best thing for you to do right now is to somewhat distance yourself form this turmoil. Something or someone else really has her in a frenzy and you are catching the brunt of her rage and possible guilt. You need to give her some space so she can work through whatever is going on. As it is right now she has you on a constant roller coaster of emotions and that isn't good for either of you. Let her know that you will be there for her when she really needs you, but that you can't continue with your relationship as it is right now.

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Anonymous2010-05-07T01:51:56Z

I read your "autobiography" haha. I think I know whats going on here. Your girlfriend is young and you guys have been together for a long time. What I'm about to say takes a long time to except, but in my experience its very true... people change. I was in a relationship for 3 years and my boyfriend did a similar thing to me when I was 20 (2 years ago). She loves you and doesn't want to let you go, yet she wants to explore her options. She continues to run back to you because you are what's comfortable and familiar and safe. And the fact that you have taken her back so many times (even though it was her that was acting ridiculous) has given COMPLETE control over the relationship. Her power and her confusion is probably what is causing her to act so mean. Oh and typically when someone wants a relationship without the title means they don't have the desire to be with someone else but they want to have the option. They want to be able to describe themselves as single and they don't want to be tied down to the typical obligations of a relationship (hanging out all the time, talking everyday, etc.)
I'm sad to say that my best advice to let her go and if you were meant to be, you guys will end up together. After my ex and I broke up, we came back to each other off and on inbetween dating other people. He also would never commit again to "boyfriend" status. If she is treating you this badly, she is taking advantage of having such a good boyfriend and she probably doesn't realize how good she has it. I didn't. I guarantee if you make the move to break up with her (and NOT immediately get back together) her perspective will change and she will beg to have you back. She probably just wants to explore the dating world, and TRUST ME, there is nothing good out there, and as soon as she realizes she gave up one of the few good guys there are, she will want to be back with you. But don't take her back right away (no matter how sweet she is about it) because if you do it wont take long for her to realize she has control over you again and she will start to be mean again. I hope it all works out for you and good luck!!

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Anonymous2016-04-12T09:41:32Z

The first step in getting back with your ex is understanding why the heck you broke up in the first place. Believe it or not, some people are clueless when it comes to this one thing. And the reason they're clueless is because it is so hard to look at yourself and your own faults. Everything that goes wrong in a relationship is always the other person's fault. We're perfect. It's they who screwed up. Well, news flash...we all screw up when it comes to relationships. Nobody is perfect. So the first thing you need to do is objectively look at why the relationship went sour.

On the next page you will find a set of techniques that are guaranteed to make your ex come begging you to take them back.

https://tinyurl.im/yXskm

If you want to know how to get ex back then I strongly recommend that you to read everything on the next page before it's too late.

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?2016-02-11T03:59:03Z

You're only shot at getting your ex back is to follow the right steps that will make her ask you to get back together. Learn here https://tr.im/ZUuhR
Maybe if you broke up with her, then you might be able to be the one who brings up the subject of getting back together. But if you can do it without, it would be much better. But how do you get someone back without seeming desperate? In order to get your ex girlfriend attention, you have to show value without telegraphing your interest in her, while at the same time initiating interaction. So don't ignore your ex texts and calls when they break up with you. It screams that you are so devastated by the breakup that you can't even handle talking to her. You want to respond to her, but do it in the right way. You can even initiate communication if you do it in the right way. You have to maintain a strong frame of confidence, and show your ex girlfriend that your happiness isn't dependent on being with her

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