Rate my poem please, want to know what you think.?

Question

In the dark of night,
I look up in the sky,
in amazement i sigh,
light illuminates the night sky,
as knowledge, the path of truth.
Beauty illuminates the night sky,
as the gates of my heart,
wide as the sky, part,
to let it in.
Wonder illuminates the night sky,
i breathe it in,
savoring, enjoying, in wonder,
I look up in the night sky,
again, i sigh.

Please tell me what you think. I really need to know.Just started like for a week and a little bit more,
but don't hold back any criticism, throw it all here.

The Girl Who Knows · Accepted Answer

I think it's a good attempt and no matter what people say don't give up...keep trying. It would be better if you could use some rhyming scheme and different words as well as a verse form. 

In the darkness of the night
I gaze up at the heavens above
I sigh amazed at the sight
Of the light which illuminates sky

Like knowledge lighting the path of truth
Beauty illuminates the veil of night

Pdiddy · Answer

The first part is brilliant. Although half way through it, the wording rhythm and rhyme seem to get out of place and start to feel awkward. Also I see the repetition attempted with night sky, but I think it should change through the poem. Maybe try to tell a story of sorts with this poem.

Anonymous · Answer

I really like the idea but I'd switch it up a bit. Instead of using sky and night over again, put some different words in there so it doesn't feel so repetitive. I use a thesaurus sometimes :)

Lola · Answer

very good
but i kinda got a little lost 
i loved the rhyme 
 but like i said i got a little lost but yet it kept me wanting to read

very good keep up the good work :)
-lola

celeste P · Answer

You used to many of the same words.

Rate my poem please, want to know what you think.?

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