I feel like an old fart with a wasted life at age 26...?

Question

I have just come out of 3.5 years service in the marines, I joined up in my early 20s, and now I am past the 25 mark.
I am 25 at the moment, and I will be 26 in about 3 months, a bit less....

The life I was living before I served was crappy, so I enlisted as a means of running away from college and regular work.
I HATED college, it was just a tonne of stress, leading up to a job I would have hated, and just a life of paying bills, and then going to night clubs and living like everybody else, just a product of civilization just seems like a big pointless nightmare.

I might re-join the marines again, but Afghanistan sucked, you just sit there in the sun all day and get no action or anything remotely exciting or interesting, I left because I had done everything they could offer and I was bored of it.

I am now at home, not knowing what to do with my time, and now I am depressed again, because when I consider my options there isn't much.
Just get a crappy job keep the economy going and stay out of trouble.

I think I might kill myself....
People say that killing yourself is the cowards way out, which doesn't make any sense because cowards are scared of things, I'm not really scared of anything any more, I want to die because I'm bored and sick of life, which isn't fear, I guess those people are morons, idk...
If I'm a coward, with some of the stuff I have done, what does that make them?..

Sorry I'm rambling drunk again... 

I'M 30 IN 4 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like everything is and has been wasted, I'm part of the 99.999999% of people who's lives are boring, as compared to peoples lives who are interesting, which is something I have to deal with whilst being a human I guess.

*RED* · Accepted Answer

Life is complicated and requires effort as an individual to do ones best - good luck at 31, this might change!

Leavesonthelawn · Answer

Laughter really is the best medicine. Just having a good time or seeing someone smile can actually make your day and give you hope..you don't have to be in the perfect situation just yet..just try and enjoy the ride..

I'm sort of going through similar thoughts to yours. I'm 21, have never had a romantic relationship, don't know what i'm going to do after my degree...etc etc....for the past couple of months i'm always thinking about death and how time goes so quickly and how getting old is so scary and how life is so confusing...blah blah...i admit it does get depressing at times.., but i still have some optimism about me and know that there must be a purpose for everyone on this earth. We're not meant to know..we're just meant to live.

I'm reading 'the secret' at the moment and let me tell you.. this book makes you realise humans are very special and powerful beings..we have the power to create whatever we want.

Good luck. 

p.s. being in a drunken state only takes the control away from yourself. If you let something else control your mind and actions...bit like a puppet on a string..i believe you are putting faith into something else controlling you, and that's fake because it wares off after a while, and you get even more depressed and have no faith in yourself...

so stay focused!!

jennifer h · Answer

wow You never know what's around the corner .You must be reasonably fit with being in the Marines and you must've had a lot of interest in your life with being part of them or perhaps you saw some terrible things in life that has left you depressed and need to see a councillor. Suicide is not cowardly it is Absolutely selfish to burden your family for the rest of their lives with the unhappiness of what went wrong?How could they have helped? etc. Have you saved any money . Why not go to Australia or europe for a while backpacking around and meeting up with interesting people. How would you know your future. It may involve meeting someone to share your life with someone who you can both create happiness , children or many other things. There are plenty of options , you are just not seeing them at the moment. life changes all the time and in the long term even those dark days can be a great learning experience.

? · Answer

This isn't really a question but a cri du coeur from someone who feels lost. However, ask yourself what it is you would really most like to do. Then try to figure out a way to do it. You're young, you have served your country--more than many do--and you have the right to a decent life. All forms of work are admirable.

I want to be sympathetic, but I don't think killing yourself is right, from any perspective. Please do not do this--an injustice to yourself and others.

I don't know where you are in the country, but California is very beautiful. It's worthwhile seeing it and even trying to live there. However, that's just what I'd do. The woods on the west coast are like heaven.

However, many lives and careers can be fulfilling. I'm in one--I like my job. Wish it paid more, but still--

What is the most pleasurable, non self-destructive thing you can imagine? Go for it?

I'm not a psychologist or an expert in any mental health sense. You probably could benefit from someone more adept than I.

Christine · Answer

I think you will be fine. Just going though adjusting to being back and everything. Got to just get out there and meet new people and do new things you never did before, basically just follow your excitement..any little thing..not just the big things. The reason people usually hate school like that is because we were never taught how to study, how to learn. Just were told to learn it. But there are simple things like just looking up a word..then getting it! Anyway, don't get into the I am going to kill myself thing. That is depression coming on and it is really a bummer. Don't go there. Find places to go..meet some new people. Start dating again..stay away from the booze! Keep yourself straight, it only makes you get depressed thoughts going. My God, you just came back from a war honey..you got to take good care of yourself. Go work out, get a massage, go to the beach, go fun places, do all the good stuff now. Let it all go and create the life your prefer. Thank you too! Hugs!!

nameless · Answer

If 'serving' had meaning to you, perhaps rather than the 'me me me me' game (most often depressing!) you might try volunteering some time to hospice care? To visiting those with no visitors in the hospital or nursing care facility?
You get the idea? Many people find great joy and meaning, and a cure for the 'me me me me blues', when we focus a bit on 'others'. 
Such service can counteract the brainwashing that you received as a soldier! Rather than 'dehumanizing others' , you can find your way back into hunmanity!

I feel like an old fart with a wasted life at age 26...?

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