Should I be concerned?! Are these red flags, or figments of my imagination?! Serious replies please... Thanks!?
My husband and I have been together for nearly 7 years now. Married for almost 3 1/2. We have 2 young children and are expecting our third in a few months. Recently my husband seems slightly more distant than usual. Not sure if it is my pregnancy or his promotion at work that is distracting him. He forgot to call me on his lunch hour a couple of days in a row. Then when I did go see him for lunch he went back to work half an hour early. Sometimes he gets home pretty late. The other day I found a condom where he empties his pockets. I am 6 months pregnant and we haven't used condoms in years. Not sure what to think here. Probably TMI, but he tasted like baby powder and we don't have any in the house? Should I be concerned? I don't want to jump to conclusions! I know that I am pregnant with a child that he doesn't want. :( There is a girl at his work who has made cookies for him and I understand that they may flirt a bit in conversation. I don't want to lose my husband and the daddy of all 3 of my babies to some skinnier, younger, not-so-pregnant girl from his workplace. Any advice on how I can make myself more attractive to him? I have no solid evidence... only my paranoid delusions.
rachel2010-12-10T06:25:49Z
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OK, well I'm guessing leaving him is something you don't want to do. However, it sounds like he is either cheating, or hoping to, as he has the condoms, there is no reason to be having them. Has he started washing more often? Changing his cologne?
You need to speak to him, and you shouldn't need to change for him! You have to speak to him, and if he finds the relationship a bit slack - which happens during a marriage and when you've had kids, but you can fix it - find some things to put the spark back in. What is the reason he didn't want this child? Perhaps because he's met this other woman already? I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you, and I'm sure these have been through your head already.
He could be stressed at work AND home. When was the last time the two of you went off and had a date? Never stop dating! Me and hubby have been together for 10 years and still have dates :)
Try and get out of the routines you've already got. Be spontanious.
Go with your gut. He has no business to be "flirty" with a chick at his broad if he's married to you. If you guys haven't used condoms in years and he has them, that is an indication that something is going on. Did you ask him about the condoms? I would have shown them to him and said, What are these for? Dont' be so passive just cause yu're pregnant with his child. A woman's intuition is rarely wrong. If he cheated on you, you will need to get tested for STDs to protect yourself and the baby.
Paranoia is very different from instinct. You have good reason to believe he's cheating. If you deliberately got pregnant knowing that he didn't want another child (and of course you did because there are so many ways to prevent it) then he is well within his rights to terminate your relationship. You have proven to him that you will do whatever You want in your marriage with no regards for his wishes. So he is now going to do what He wants. You have made one of the biggest, dumbest mistakes that a woman can make - you assumed he would just go along with your plan because You Said So. It's his marriage too, but you didn't care. You are now reaping the consequences of what you sowed - the knowledge that he can't trust you to do things that are the best for Both of you. You can mkae yourself more attractive by profusely apologizing and giving the baby up for adoption. Otherwise get used to being on your own or living with a cheater.
confront him with what you have stated here and ask him outright. you of all ppl should be able to tell if hes lying or not. you might not like the answer though, so where you go from there, is up to you. you have my best wishes