How should I treat these people?

My wife and I had what I thought was a good relationship with her step-mother and her husband. (My wife's dad died 15 yrs ago and SM remarried) We had them over for meals on holidays, birthdays, anniversary. Visited them in the hospital, took them meals when they were ill and helped with other things. Bottom line is they were never reluctant to call us♠ for help with anything.

My wife died last year not unexpectedly but a little sooner than we thought. I called her SM the day she died to let her know. Her obit was in the local paper for 3 days before the visitation or funeral. With funeral details, arranging to pick my family up at 2 airports and put them up in my home and a local hotel I was busy the next 3 days. I didn't hear from her SM. That was OK not really anything they could do and I would rather not have talked about it. I was a little surprised when they did not come to the funeral home. I understand not wanting to come to a visitation. In fact I had written permission from my wife to miss her's. Not coming to her memorial service I thought was wrong. It was a celebration of the life of an incredible woman but even that I could understand. They sent no flowers, no contributions to a charity we put in the obit in lieu of flowers. I never received a card a phone call or anything that would indicate they cared. They ran into my wife's mother several weeks later and told her they didn't get a paper so they did not know the date and time of the funeral. (Other members of his family were there) i live in a small enough town that I am going to run into them some day. How do I react?

0072011-02-18T00:16:49Z

My wife and I had what I thought was a good relationship with her step-mother and her husband. (My wife's dad died 15 yrs ago and SM remarried) We had them over for meals on holidays, birthdays, anniversary. Visited them in the hospital, took them meals when they were ill and helped with other things. Bottom line is they were never reluctant to call us♠ for help with anything.

With all the thoughtfulness that your wife and you showed these people they never returned the favour to her which was her funeral. This is the most selfish thing that anyone could do to another human being after all she cared for these people for years on end. In the end it's more important that you remember her and who she was; A thoughtful kind person willing to help anyone that was in need.

In conclusion it would be best not to run into these people and if you do, don't pay them any notice for they will not deserve to be recognized as human beings.

Did you and her have kids together, in which they thought of this woman as grandma? I hope you tell them the full story of what they really are, and it would be better for her/your children not to associate with these individuals anymore.

kitkat2011-02-17T21:46:43Z

Tell them you are disappointed, your wife would have wanted them there. Then go on with your life and don't be there if they have the nerve to call when they need help. They are selfish people.