is adoption a bad thing? read b4 u get confused XD?
so, my and my gf think we're going to have a baby (im 15 atm, turning 16 in a few days [happy birthday me XD] and shes guna b 17 if she is pregnant.) we havent gotten a pregnancy test done yet, but she told me a few days ago that she's been feeling nauseous the past month and said shes gained 15 lbs (and shes stayed at a constant 105 - 110 for the past year and a half.)
we feel that shes pregnant, so we were discussing what to do with him/her. would putting the baby up for adoption b a bad thing? cuz one part of me says "dont take the easy way out" but another part of me says "do the best thing for the baby." i dont wanna keep him/her, and niether does my gf, so i think this is the best option
2011-09-19T01:51:26Z
im all for abortion, and its legal where we are. but, unfortunately, she doesnt want to do that
2011-09-19T12:07:14Z
im guna b a little more specific on her eating habits. when she was little, she wsas taking this medicine that either made her eat alot or not alot at all. she was taken off it for that reason and ever since shes been underweight or just at the bottom of what her weight should b. she doesnt go crazy to try to eat healthy at all. in fact, i would have assumed from wheat she has eaten that she would have gained 50 or so pounds in the past year, so this jump in weight doesnt surprise me a ton, and this has been over the course of a few months. AND i dont want to here ur thoughts on abortion, we already kno we arent getting one because she doesnt want to
2011-09-19T13:48:24Z
i forgot to mention (again XD) that she has been on the depro povera shots for the past 5 months. shes had 2 shots and her periods have been irregular. her doctor said spotting instead of bleeding means ur pregnant, and she spotted once last friday, and again the following morning
Anonymous2011-09-19T20:16:35Z
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No adoption isn't a bad thing. I gave my son up for adoption because I wanted him to have the best life possible. I have no regrets and he is perfectly happy. Its an open adoption but he knows that I am not his "real" mother. That being said, its not for everyone. Its the hardest thing you may ever have to do. But having and raising a baby may be just as hard or even harder depending on your circumstances. However if you're willing, you could make it work the best you can. Abortion is a woman's choice and if she doesn't want one, then she shouldn't have one. First of all though, go to the doctor and find out for sure if shes pregnant. Alot of the time its just a scare.
Just as with every matters in existence, there are well and unhealthy points to adoption. Adoption is well for kids who want houses or who're in abusive instances. Adoption is unhealthy whilst it's selected for the incorrect motives or there's coercion concerned with the system. As lengthy as adoption is finished within the satisfactory curiosity of the baby, this can be a well factor. Whenever a baby isn't held on the core of the system, then this can be a unhealthy factor.
Get a test done ASAP! If she is pregnant every day is important to get the best nutrition and get on prenatal vitamins for a fetus to develop healthy. I think it is a good decision to give it up for adoption if you two do not feel ready to raise a child. They are a treasure to raise if you are "ready" to care for a child and put your own wants/needs/desires aside and focus on raising your child the best you can, that HAS to come first. My sister adopted to babies, both were open adoptions and the mothers do not regret it and the girls have had a good life that their birth mothers were not able to provide. That does not mean adoption is easy for the biological mother, it is hard. BUT knowing that you two have chosen the people who will raise your baby and having contact with them throughout the baby growing up, you both will see that it was the best option for you at the time.
Agencies do charge money to the adoptive parents to "find" a birth mother. I do not think this is right or fair to anyone. I do not support those agencies. i believe if I am meant to adopt, it will happen without the help of an agency. I still HAVE to get background checks done, take classes and have a home study (that is required by law). No one can adopt without that being done but that is not done by the same agencies that charge astronomical fees to "find" a birth mother for the potential adoptive parents.
If she is pregnant take time to find the best person to raise your child. It takes time to build trust and a bond with the potential adoptive parents to really get that gut feeling, who will be the best ones.
Please don't abort the baby. I know it's a personal choice but my personal feelings are that a baby is a gift and is a human being from the moment of conception. Abortion is just a nicer term than murder. I'm not being judgemental and if that's what you choose to do then people (myself included) should respect your decision but I still feel abortion is wrong...
Ok I got sidetracked... Find out if she is pregnant. Go to a clinic and get it checked. She can go by herself and keep it confidential if that is what she wants to do.
If she is pregnant and you both don't want this baby. Then I would definitely support the idea of you finding a family to adopt the baby. Try to find one before the baby is born because otherwise he/she will go to an orphanage or another state facility and not all of those are pleasant. So try to find a suitable couple/mother before you have the baby. But make sure that is what you really want to do. It's not something you can change your mind about later.
If your families are supportive you might choose to keep the baby. With your families help you would both be able to finish school and start your careers. You just wouldn't have the party scenes nearly as much. Also, if you guys are worried that you won't be together forever then just talk about that stuff now. Figure out which one of you would keep the child and which one would have weekend visitations and that sort of thing. You want to plan it early and ensure that you both will have a working, civil, friendly relationship no mater where you stand as a couple.
Just weigh your options and if she is pregnant talk to your families about what to do. Talk to eachother. But if you decide to give the baby to a family and they are waiting in the wings to take the baby, You can't change your mind once you see your daughters beautiful eyes.
Good Luck. Think on it. Talk about it. Pray about it. He will help you through this. I hope this helps.
I think both you and your girlfriend realize that at 16 and 17, you are not in a good position to give the child a stable future. More importantly, neither you or your girlfriend want to keep and raise the child.
Go to the doctor's and make sure she is pregnant. If she is, then you and her can decide what to do but be realistic about what you can and can not do at 16 and 17. Talk to your parents. Talk to the doctor. Talk to other single, teenager mothers/parents. Get as much information as you can. Know your rights.
If, after all that, you and your girlfriend decide to give the child up for adoption, go talk to an agency. You can choose an open adoption where you can receive pictures and letters and possibly even have contact with the child and even though some on here will tell you that post adoption contracts are not enforceable this is patently untrue depending on what state you live in. (Again, learn and know your rights).
One last thing, how many months is your girlfriend suppose to be because 15lbs is way to much weight to gain in the first month or even the first trimester. That is roughly half of what a woman should gain so it is important to find out if she is pregnant as soon as possible because if she is pregnant, she will need to start eating a lot better and if she isn't pregnant, then she might have other health issues. Just curious, did she, by any chance, change her birth control pills? This can cause the weight gain and sore breasts and nausea also. Good Luck.