What is the proper way to greet a child?

Question

Please share your thoughts on a disagreement between a friend (who has a three year old son) and myself (who has no children). I work in a place where I come in contact with small children. I consider it rude not to acknowledge them. It helps that I honestly like children, and enjoy conversations with them. 

After getting a dressing down from the mother of an overweight child for greeting her son with "Hi, Pumpkin!" (a common local endearment), a friend and I got into a conversation about the proper way to address a child.

She says that I should greet them with an endearment like "Sweetie" that emphasizes that their behavior is most important. The idea is that sooner or later calling them things like "cutie" will make them think that I only value their appearance. I say that it honestly doesn't matter as long as I immediately follow it with a question about their behavior. "Are you being good?" 

I want to know your thoughts. Am I damaging a child's sense of self by calling them cutie, as opposed to sweetie? And if so, can I get away with calling them by the local endearments like pumpkin and sweet pea, instead?

Carlie · Accepted Answer

Honestly I don't think it matters. I greet children with whatever comes out of my mouth - sweetie, sweetheart, cutie, angel, pumpkin, honey, etc. They smile the same way every time. I mean, maybe if you called a child only Cutie for several years and never mentioned their behavior or personality, they would think you only cared about their appearance. For the most part though, I don't think young children even think about what an endearment like that means. To them it's just a word that an adult they're close to uses to show affection for them, or a friendly adult uses to be nice. If you ask them questions about behavior and hold a conversation with them, I think they'll know that you care about them for more than their appearance.

KirstyBradbery1993 · Answer

it doesnt really matter although you dont need to call them sweetie or cutie, if another child overhears they might think oh 'she called her sweetie, what about me' 

just getting down there level and saying hello is enough, children are more likely to interact if your at their level. and maybe instead of saying are you being good? you could say, what have you been doing? or if their doing an activity ask them what they are doing and start the conversation that way.

What is the proper way to greet a child?

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