I think my husband is cheating... Please tell me how to deal with this! :(?
When me and my husband first got together (we had been dating for about 4 or 5 months), he had slept with my sister. Both of them had told me all they did was make out, but I knew in the back of mind that they had done more. My sister didn't tell me that she slept with him until after we were married. If I had known sooner I probably wouldn't have married him. Then on New Years, my newborn daughter and I went to Oklahoma (we live in Texas) to see my mom to go to a church meeting for New Years. On the night before New Years Eve, my sister called me and said, "hey where are you at?" and I said, "I'm in Oklahoma. Why?" and she said, "Oh of course you'd be out of town whenever we're having a party!" and I said, "What?!" and she said, "Um... The party that your husband is throwing at your house?" so I called him and nicely told him, "I do not appreciate you throwing parties when I am out of town. That is so disrespectful. Please don't throw a party while I'm gone." and he said, "You're right, honey. I'm sorry. I won't throw a party. I love you!" well, after I got home on New Year's day, our garage smelled strongly like alcohol and cigarettes. I asked him if he had thrown a party and he freaked out and started yelling and said, "I DIDN'T THROW A PARTY! I HAD A FEW FRIENDS OVER AND WE DRANK A FEW BEERS AND SMOKED CIGARETTES IN THE GARAGE! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TRYING TO BE PISSED ABOUT SOMETHING?!" So I apologized and moved on. Well, after he went to work that night, his friend texted me and said that he needed to talk to me. I called him and he told me that my husband had thrown a party the night before New Years Eve and told all his friends not to tell me. So I confronted him about it, and he got soooo mad and was threatening to beat the crap out of his friend for telling me. He finally apologized to me and I asked if there was anything else that he needed to tell me and he said no. A few days later, I saw one of my husband's friend's girlfriend. I started talking to her and come to find out, my husband threw a party on New Years Eve as well. I confronted him about it and he got all pissed at me, then got over it and apologized. I asked him, yet again, if he had anything else that he needed to tell me. He said no, and I, yet again, believed him. Later that same day, I got on his email to find a statement from his credit card so I could pay it, and I find all these dirty emails from at least 7 girls that had posted adds on Craigslist looking for "a good time". He was saying stuff like, "I'll make you c*m. You want my huge c0ck?" and all this stuff. I confronted him about it and he said, "I don't have to explain sh!t to you." I just didn't understand why he was acting like this.. I mean, I've never cheated on him, I never lie to him, and I've always tried to be the best wife and mother that I can be. He told me, "I didn't do anything with anybody while you were gone. I promise. I sent some girls emails and barely any of them replied and when they did reply I felt bad so I didn't reply back." Which was a lie by the way.. "Please forgive me. I love you and our daughter so much. I don't want to lose you guys." so we had a deep talk and he "told me the truth about everything" that had ever happened in our relationship. I was proud of him for finally telling me the truth. Well, last night, I was talking to an old friend, and somehow we got on the subject of him and her talking. She told me that he had asked her "would you ever hook up with me?" and repeatedly tried flirting with her. He also asked her if she wanted to party with him on New Years Eve. She told me she always shot him down. And I completely trust her. Then I called my brother-in-law to talk to him about this stuff, and he told me that on New Year's Eve he was calling him to get girls numbers so "his friend" could hook up with them. Then, one of his friends told me that my husband had put an add on Craigslist looking for a girl to have sex with and put his friends number down so I wouldn't find out. He also said that the night before my husband left for basic training, my husband had asked him, "have any girls called you about that add on Craigslist?" And after all this, I got online and looked at his call record on his phone and there were calls to multiple numbers that I didn't recognize on New Years Eve from about 11 at night to 5 in the morning. All I want is to know the truth so I can move on from this.. He is in basic training for the Army right now. I don't want to leave him. He really is a nice guy, he just has faults.. I just want to know everything so I can move on from this and we can make our marriage stronger.. If we want to talk, we have to write letters, so how do I go about
talking to him about this? I don't know what to do :( I just feel like he's cheated on me because he has tried so hard to... Please help me :( I'm sorry this is so long..
I didn't know that he had slept with my sister until after we were married. And I don't mean that cheating will making our relationship stronger.. I just want to move past all this crap so I can forgive him and get over it and then concentrate on making our marriage stronger so it doesn't happen again.. and why the hell would I use a condom when me and my husband are married?
The reason why some his friends tell me stuff is because ALL of his friends were my friends first.. He only has 2 friends that care about our relationship at all and the rest of them just lie straight to my face for him..
I honestly wouldn't care if he threw a party with his friends if he wouldn't try to hide it from me and if I could trust him to be faithful..
I always told myself that the only reason I would ever get a divorce is if the man I was married to hurt our children.. He has never hurt our daughter.. He's such a good dad.. And I'm so not okay with divorce :( I just don't know what to do..