Will you C & C SHE a new first draft poem for me?

Written in response to this question:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnSNM.mVQ7cpjp5jJGhFPKLty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20120323190323AAtH87w


She
by Victoria Tarrani
© 201203.

She looks upon the world,
but does not see
hateful crimes stealing life,
love, money, family.

She sees colors of life
with each vision
that crosses her view;
free of humanity's waste.

The golden glow of a waning sun
slipping below the horizon
as stars twinkle in the east
with the slightly visible crescent moon.

She hears the color coded leaves
blowing in the winds as season
changes caress her skin
and touch her heart and soul.

Listening to the melody of the night
sensations stir and she writes
of the beauty that is hidden
to Earth's wretched minions.
~~

Caz :) x2012-03-30T23:22:42Z

Favorite Answer

This is a truly wonderful poem came strait from your heart and that's what matters.
the language of poetry the ability to formulate our thoughts , disability is a gift sometimes, if it happens by injury it's the way god wants it, he helps us to find support and serch for treatmen

Listening to the melody of the night
sensations stir and she writes
of the beauty that is hidden
to Earth's wretched minions.

Thank you :)

Neil2012-04-04T12:04:37Z

I presume you are describing someone who chooses to see the best in others and ignores the baser parts of the human existence. If so, you did well. The thought also occurred that you might be describing a female Deity such as Oprah often says she believes in, but I seriously doubt that to be the case. If I am wrong, then the descriptions in the poem are understated for an omniscient being.

I do think you need a title longer than one word. SHE conjures up the idea of the female tyrant in the many movies of the same name (the last one I saw many years ago starred Ursula Andress-I think).

Over all I think it is very good.

rainbow2012-04-01T18:14:29Z

She is a special person, that is for sure.

Your poem is well written with superb imagery. I can see the sunset with the crescent moon showing. I love the expression color coded leaves which speak volumes about fall.

I hope this is what she sees in her world. I'd like it to be mine as well.
.

Warren D2012-03-30T23:39:52Z

She is nature's child
But more like a sister
A kindred soul is she
Unafraid as she stands

Alone? Nay, never alone
Creatures abound around her
Even the bugs are friends
A world alive with her

He dares not intrude
But silently watches her
In her silent yet eloquent
Dialogue with the earth

(I couldn't help but offer a few verses of my own. This is beautiful, and so near to my heart.)

?2012-03-31T02:06:22Z

A beautiful response to the question asked. I did need to read the question to better understand the poem, but once in that space I was transfixed by the way this poem responds to it.

Thank you.

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