Will you give me your c/c on my poem ZEPHYR please?
I'd love your comments and/or critique for this poem. I wrote it for my father just after he left this world. I hadn't even read it in years; I was too raw then. Thank you.
I love your use of Zephyr It helped add to the tranquility of the peice. The way you clarified quixotic with imagenation Brought me to euphoria. That entire stanza, Would have held a diffrent meaning, Without it
This is truly a special gift. No, Santa is not part of nature, but of the season we celebrate; not the reason, of course. I like Bruce's C&C of the individual haiku's. I love the whole, but my favorite is too darned hard to pick out. Isn't zephyr your haiku and scifaiku name? I'm sure it is. It isn't an arcane word, just rarely used, but it is absolutely correct in the haiku. Thank you and may you have the most wonderful Christmas of all. .
This should not be taken as a negative criticism, but as a description. The imagery and feeling here is so ethereal and unmasculine that I sit bolt upright and go "hey" when I get to dad in the end. Either he was a blithe spirit in life or you have captured him in a filligreed and delicate way.