I have just finished my Junior year of high school and I came to a realization: I haven't had friends for 10 years. In all that time not once have I spoken to anyone my age outside of school. I have never been called or received a text in my brief lifetime. And despite my efforts to be friendly and open minded, no one cares. And just now I realize how sad that is, I have a rare lung tissue disease that will cut my life expectancy to 25-35 years. With my time so short it's like I've missed 10 years of my life, but why? I keep to myself and I don't think I bother people. I don't have any talents or skills, could that be it? Is it the way I look? I don't think there is anything horribly wrong with me besides my lungs. It can't be the disease because no one knows about it. I really don't know, please tell me things that I should be thinking about when I asses why I have no social life. I have to be doing something wrong, I need to know what it is. Thanks
Christian #34122012-07-01T23:46:02Z
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The only thing you're doing wrong is THINKING you're doing something wrong.
Everyone lives his or her own life. You're doing what makes you happy. I know I've been happy when I was alone before. But if you're feeling lonely, then you definitely should have noticed it before now. If not, stop trying to fit into what "society" deems as "normal." You're not normal. I'm not normal. Joe Shmoe isn't normal. Everyone's different and unique and deserves to BE that way. So BE who you ARE, not who you think everyone wants or expects you to be. Die happy.
No one can tell you what to think. No one can read your mind or direct your thoughts in any way you don't desire. Don't jinx it, that's a gift. But I can tell you that you sound a little depressed about the situation. I'm sorry to hear about your illness. I have a cousin that was born with scoliosis. I agree that you can feel like you've been doing things wrong for a while. But why should you have to be wrong? Maybe as a child it was hard to run with other children during recess. If you had trouble breathing, sports weren't fun for you. As you got older you might have found comfort in doing things on your own. But high school is about friends, growing (mostly the guys), and maturing into the world that you belong. You said you are a Junior. Well, Miss Junior, you have time. I know it sounds like you don't (for various reasons). But you can always try this: draw a picture with the person sitting next to you. You take turns adding on to the picture. Rules are, 1) you only draw until you lift your pen(cil) from the paper, 2) you can limit the shapes you can use, 3) no words. This is an icebreaker I designed for my students. It never fails. Then on the back of the paper, write a story about what you just drew.
I know it sounds childish, but remember we all have a child within us.
First off, I'm truly sorry about your disease. I'll be praying for you. You know, I know exactly where you are coming from. Seems to me, the only thing wrong is thinking you've done something wrong. Life is unpredicatable. It could just be that things are that way for you now. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or that you've done anything wrong at all. I think the right people will walk into your life, becoming your friends, etc. Things will change once you're probably done with High school. I was much like you in high school, I had no social life. Believe me, I know very well of that. Now I'm going through it, the changes in my life. But if you need someone to talk to, I'll talk to you. :) I think the best advice I could ever give is live your life the way you want it! You know I don't really have a social life, but I love my life very much :)
First you must determine if this is something as a result of your disease or your heart. Meaning: Disease: If you were diagnosed young, often times parents/doctors will aggressively or moderately "protect" you by sheltering you from the outside world. If older, you/parents/doctors aggressively or moderately shelter you from the outside world.
Heart: If you desire companionship, you have to do things that you like that will involve someone else. You have to go places of interest where you can meet people with similiar interests.
Some people live 80 years and never marry, never have kids, have little or no family..........and are happy!!! Do you feel a need to have this social life or are you feeling that you are supposed to have a social life??? Disease or not, stop subtracting your days....start adding them up!!!!!
Get talkative, if you feel that it's wrong talk and express to the people that are neccesarry. However, I like being alone, I talk probably like once a month, but my parents won't let that happen. They want me to have a social life. I'd love to switch lives with you, except for the disease( no offense). I hope gets taken care of and I will pray for you.