I have a 3 yr old step son that comes over on the weekends. In general, he's a pretty good kid but.. breakfast, lunch, and dinner times are not very fun. We also have a 7m old baby girl. Anyways.. we eat pretty healthy and fast food is a rare occasion. He might take a bite or two but then sits there and throws a fit. Its not like we are.eating tofu, just ordinary meals. Its such a battle! His mother makes him seperate meals that usually consist of chicken nuggets, spagetti, spagettios, ect.. That doesnt fly in our household. We all eat the same thing. How do we get him to eat? Should disipline come into action? I KNOW hes hungry but wont eat because it isnt junk. I and my husband are very frusterated and feel bad sometimes.. Help?! What exactly should we do if he doesnt want to eat? ):
Anonymous2012-07-15T03:58:09Z
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Pinch his bottom, when he whines, he'll open up, then stick the food in. Once he gets a taste of it, he'll usually finish eating by himself.
OMG, I was in EXACTLY the same situation. My stepson is now 14, and we have a 20 month old daughter. My stepson eats normally now, but the other day, when we were talking about his sister, he gave me some insight that had never occurred to me.
He said, "You'd better make her eat what you eat, or she'll be like I was."
I said, "So why DID you refuse to eat anything good for you other than chicken McNuggets or Spaghetti?"
He said, "Because I knew you'd eventually feel guilty and there'd be something else to eat. When I was with Nana, I always ate what she gave me, even if I didn't like it, because I knew there wouldn't be ANYTHING else to eat later."
That blew my mind.
That said, I've found that a better way with my daughter is to generally make meals that contain SOMETHING she likes. Fortunately, she loves rice and beans of all kinds, as well as peas. If the meal contains one of those things, she's likely to eat the rest of the meal as well. I don't give her other options.
Have you tried involving him in preparing meals and making your own pasta dishes, chicken nuggets, pizza, smoothies, fruit dishes etc. that are more healthy options than the processed fast food ones? I think you are right to stand your ground on the junk and he will eat if he is hungry eventually. Discipline over food probably isn't going to end well, and he might get some leverage by complaining to his mother etc. Maybe if you can get him to appreciate ingredients and involve him in shopping and cooking, and different colours, textures etc. of food, you might get somewhere with him,. Tough one, but I think don't feel bad and have fruit and other healthy snacks on offer as alternatives only. He won't starve and you are not mistreating him by not giving in to him on the junk at meal times. Good luck.
Don't participate in his dysfunction. He must sit at the table while you eat, or he can stay in his room but he can't go play or watch tv, and you're not going to make him a special meal.
About 15 minutes or so before the meal, say, "Timmy, we're going to eat soon and we are having______. Do you want to eat that or do you want an apple instead." That way he thinks he is actually getting to choose, but it is still between choices YOU are providing. And when mealtime comes, put his choice in front of him, and remind him that's what he wanted. If he doesn't want it, and starts to act up, tell him firmly, "You can sit with us and be quiet, or you're going to have to go to your room." Then remove him if he continues to act up.
My daughter went through this phase and we found that if she contributed she ate more. She went grocery shopping with me, helped "cut" vegetables, pick out a dessert (we don't eat sweets really, so strawberry shortcake or banana pudding are common ones for us that she can make). I also incorporated her favorite food in each meal, like sweet corn bread muffins or Mac and cheese. I have heard that dying their food fun colors can also help, but instead we have a variety of natural colors that look appealing. No one wants to eat brown mush!! Also, my husband began "racing" with my daughter to finish first. He would say, "I bet I can eat all my food before you!" and then when she took a big bit, "your tummy is going to explode don't do it". Eventhough it made dinner more game like, it really helped, and encouraged her to try new things :)
Honestly, it sounds like he's just a little too spoiled with mom, but that doesn't mean you shouldnt hold your ground!