I toss a rose toward the stage it misses hitting a stranger he smiles his eyes shining reflected light fireworks music is background our eyes locked oh for the beauty of a new song. .
2012-08-29T21:18:15Z
The music was the reason for the people being at the stage until their eyes met, then the music became the background. It is the background for the event taking place. I meant IS.
At the moment the eyes connect they lock... time is nebulous when your eyes lock with another person, which is why I used locked. .. tori.. .
Anonymous2012-08-30T13:20:58Z
Favorite Answer
I may and I answer:
I loved that little one, the caressing of the rose brushed my right cheek and I smiled!
Beautiful feminine expression and I am so glad to see you posting again. Thank you for it!
((( I must correct the comment of a responder about "the locking of the eyes".
"Our eyes were locked in staring" is the correct answer, not just "Our eyes were locked" )))
A kind suggestion to responders: { Some of you should not make such colorful comments about grammar. Your expressions are usually wrong, as well. }
This is a nice and tight poem, Tori. I think the brevity of the poem works to enhance the brevity of the moment. I agree with your use of "is" in "music IS background" because it gives the sense it has folded into the white noise like the mind-numbing hum of chatter. Two quick thoughts: 1) changing "locked" to 'lock" not only keeps the tenses consistent, but it gives a more immediate sense of the motion(s); 2) "oh" could just as easily be "o!".
Music playing Drowsy, drinking We 're not far apart Lonely , aching Me and a lonely heart You look into my path Our eyes cruise and lock Everything goes wild It was all in our heads The music is far, really far In the backyard but like a mile For all in our heads A firework has sparkled in the mess.
Your additional details were not necessary as the poem was self-explanatory. One never knows when they will meet a person with whom their eyes will lock. They may drift apart later or that moment may be the beginning of a wonderful relationship--one never knows. All that is known (at the time) is that the moment is magical. You described it well. Neil
I love the way the rose hit a member of the audience, and how he smiled in appreciation. This poem is about the audience, not the stage show, but how people joined by music and song come together. So much more wonderful than when all focus is centered on performers.