New poem: Sing to Me...if you may?

I may and I answer:

I loved that little one, the caressing of the rose brushed my right cheek and I smiled!

Beautiful feminine expression and I am so glad to see you posting again. Thank you for it!

((( I must correct the comment of a responder about "the locking of the eyes".

"Our eyes were locked in staring" is the correct answer, not just "Our eyes were locked" )))

A kind suggestion to responders:

{ Some of you should not make such colorful comments about grammar. Your expressions are usually wrong, as well. }

This is a nice and tight poem, Tori. I think the brevity of the poem works to enhance the brevity of the moment. I agree with your use of "is" in "music IS background" because it gives the sense it has folded into the white noise like the mind-numbing hum of chatter. Two quick thoughts: 1) changing "locked" to 'lock" not only keeps the tenses consistent, but it gives a more immediate sense of the motion(s); 2) "oh" could just as easily be "o!".

Another of this background

Music playing

Drowsy, drinking

We 're not far apart

Lonely , aching

Me and a lonely heart

You look into my path

Our eyes cruise and lock

Everything goes wild

It was all in our heads

The music is far, really far

In the backyard but like a mile

For all in our heads

A firework has sparkled

in the mess.

Your additional details were not necessary as the poem was self-explanatory. One never knows when they will meet a person with whom their eyes will lock. They may drift apart later or that moment may be the beginning of a wonderful relationship--one never knows. All that is known (at the time) is that the moment is magical. You described it well.

Neil

I love the way the rose hit a member of the audience, and how he smiled in appreciation. This poem is about the audience, not the stage show, but how people joined by music and song come together. So much more wonderful than when all focus is centered on performers.

Tori Tori Tori Tori Tori

I'm glad I helped inspire, and this piece is not only beautiful, but far more eloquent than mine.

You, sweet Victoria are one of the very special people who have graced us.

The rose part pricked me,still it reminds me that new music awaits me.

Sing me a song of beauty,sing no more sad lines,

Glad I saw this and my friend"you" are doing fine..

BYE!!!

Only 34 words,

arranged in a riveting, fascinating way.

An example of why you're among

my very favorite writers.

Hi, Tori...and bravo for

this composition.

Look up Sam Phillip's song - "Reflected Light". You will love it. Reminds me of your poems.

A precious moment in journey of life...very well captured!

When it happens, the world stops, the music stops, everything disappears...and it's only you and him! :)

Brevity is the essence in your work! Just enough to touch a chord in reader's mind and evoke similar memories :))