Why do so many parents think their kids have no feelings?

I just posted on FB how disappointed my son was that his dad had to miss his birthday for a business trip and how I just found out he will also have to miss our daughter's birthday in December for another trip and everybody was saying that "kids are resilient and they don't really care about that stuff unless you, the adult, cares." I find that offensive, that so many parents (these people are parents of 2, 4, and 5 kids!) think their kids don't have their own genuine feelings.

2012-10-20T14:33:03Z

Actually, the post was mostly about how ironic it was that my husband travels only 2-3 times per year for only a couple days each time and this year, his travel dates happened to fall on two of my kids' birthdays. My friends (who are actually friends of mine, not just random people I don't really know) took that to mean that I was upset that he was going to be gone. My 8-year-old was disappointed his dad missed his birthday but it ended up being okay. The thing was is everyone was saying that kids don't really care about that stuff unless the adult cares and then they get their caring about it from the adult. Which I don't think is true. Kids do have the ability to generate their own feelings and opinions.

goodies make the boys jump on it2012-10-20T13:30:31Z

Favorite Answer

i agree my kids are young (4 and younger) and i still try to take their feelings in consideration because at the end of the days kids are human too and all humans have feelings.
i'm really sorry to hear that

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Faith2012-10-20T20:34:08Z

I don't think a lot of people feel that way. I honestly can't think of many people I know who would say that.

The people I know & those who I am family with are understanding to kids and how they feel. Some of them are actually overly concerned with their kids feelings. My sister claimed her 2yr old daughter was and quote "Traumatized over flying up to see her sick great grandmother". I spend almost every moment up there with her daughter. This little girl was happy and cheerful. Went to bed without a problem and even on the plane ride she grinned nonstop until she feel asleep. Plus my sister and mom together and you would think the world is falling in because this little girl tripped on the floor, got up not crying and grinning. lol It drives me nuts.

I don't think these people on FB meant it in a bad way. They were maybe just trying to ease your worries. I wouldn't take it as they think he doesn't have feelings. They were trying to be positive.

01

Jungle2012-10-20T20:49:38Z

The kids will be resilient... as long as Dad makes it up to them later. You need to make sure that he makes up for it by taking them out for special time with Dad. If Dad is constantly dissing the kids they will resent it and him in the future.

01

?2012-10-20T20:34:19Z

Sounds like theyre trying to be positive. Would you prefer if they said "yes that is unfortunate, those kids birthdays are going to be downright miserable"

Sounds like youre upset and nothing anybody can say will fix it.

01

?2012-10-20T20:55:41Z

I find it offensive that you feel the need to share intimate details of your life with "people" online. If you don't want opinions keep your life to yourself.

02

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