Am I over-reacting or an "Indian giver"...?

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well--once you give a gift-it belongs to the recipient who can do anything they want with it....even though that may rankle you. just know that anything you give her may end up online....maybe she's hoping to trade in the old clothes for some new ones...so you are really still helping her....

but it is still kind of tacky of her--maybe she doesn't get that people get emotionally attached to those baby outfits.......Show more

It's not reasonable of you to expect her to go through over 100 items before deciding which ones to keep. Maybe she can use the money to buy needed/ wanted clothes. It's no skin off your nose, and since she is a close relative, you should let it go and not be discussing it with others in the family. I don't even have a problem with her asking if you have any more clothes you don't want, because she may feel she needs them or the money for selling them more than you. However you don't need to give her anymore items if you don't want to. 100+ is plenty.

By the way "Indian Giver" is an offensive and racist term....Show more

My humble opinion - you're overreacting. Sorry, sorry.

Had you gone out and bought all of these clothes, and they were expensive, fancy, or particularly beautiful, I suppose I might get bent out of shape. As it is? These are third hand (possibly fourth hand) hand me down baby clothes. They *will* be going to a home that needs and will use them - the garage sale shopper's.

I'm sorry. . . honestly, don't mean to put you down, but this sounds super duper cheap to me. You *gave* her the clothes. Yes, your intention was to help clothe her child - but I'm with Kate - once you give something up (Christmas gift, hand me downs, or whatever) you are no longer in a position to say what will be done with it.

I can see where you're coming from. . . my stepmother years ago gave my newlywed sister a *beautiful* dining room table set, hand embroidered cushions - just gorgeous.

My sister put it on ebay and sold it for far less than it was worth. I felt *she* was out of line - it was a wedding present, and although it was my sister's *technically* - my stepmother was terribly hurt.

Are you hurt? If not - seriously - they're baby clothes. I'm just really unclear why you care what happens to them. It's not as if your SIL is going to get rich, here - she probably just wanted the things she didn't need or want out of her house. I don't see much difference between handing them away free to yet another relative, or selling them for ten cents to a stranger. Some baby will wear them, they will not go to waste.

??? I find myself wondering if you dislike this SIL for some reason. I just don't see the need to get worked up over items you got for free, and gave away for free. Save your energy.

Edit - Ok, you just want someone to agree with you. That's fine. No, you are completely within your rights to be upset about your sister in law making money off of clothes you got for free, that evidently, she couldn't really use.

I think you should definitely focus on this, and be upset, and talk about her behind her back with your other upset family members (oh - you already have), and see where all that takes you.

Or you could, you know, accept that perhaps your upset *is* in fact an overreaction, and no one here has an axe to grind....Show more

The term "Indian giver" is used when our country gave land to native Indians and they harvest it and worked on the land given to them, then again the country took it back from them. White man gave the Native American Indian their word and many times took back their word and lied to Native American Indians. When you give something to someone it then belongs to them. The clothes that is now being sold belongs to the person you gave in good faith out of kindness of your heart. As long as your intentions were sincere then it is best not to mention nothing to them. Do not give them anymore clothes and if they ask you can always says you already promised it to someone that after they are finished will donate it for FREE to the church, they will get the picture. I would not mention anything to them, the clothes is no longer yours and it belongs to them. Maybe they want to sell it and buy new clothes or food. Do not get upset. Your out of line if you tell them something. Remember, you did it with good intentions....Show more