Do most parents cease all involvement in their "child's" medical care the day he / she turns 18?

I'm slightly bewildered by a question someone posed to me in her answer to a question I asked here a while ago. She asked me why my parents had any involvement in my medical care since I'm now an adult. I turned 18 a few months ago, and am in remission for a serious health condition. Now that I'm in college and in remission, they aren't nearly as involved as they were when I was diagnosed at fifteen. They didn't cease all involvement the day I turned 18, though. My mom is a physician, so she had me sign a medical release form so my doctors could share my file with her. I didn't really object to this since she understands medical matters more than I do and can explain something at greater length than my doctor if necessary. I was hospitalized for severe pneumonia and they were both there the whole time. We live in the US now (we're British) and it's not like in the UK where you can get medical care of your own and you don't pay an outrageous sum for a top university. My parents pay for all medical care (which is extremely expensive even with insurance), student health care, and private health insurance (since my pre-existing condition makes it hard to get a policy in my own name). The previous question was about the way my dad had "manhandled" me to get me into the hospital when I refused to go on my out of a panic attack due to a needle phobia. Now I've learned coping mechanisms for my phobia so I don't freak out like that anyway. They have still made threats, like taking away my car if don't go to a medical appointment, but that's it. I hopefully won't have a recurrence, but if I did I'd have to withdraw from school and return home until I reached remission again, and I'm positive they would still do things like drive me to appointments and get my prescriptions and all of that.

Anyway, Cathrl69 had made it seem like it was weird that my parents had *any* involvement in my medical care, which baffled me. Do most other parents stop all involvement the day their "child" turns 18 and is therefore a legal adult?

2012-12-03T19:58:41Z

@ the user named . - I am hopeful you're health is better. I am fortunate that my parents are fairly balanced in their approach now. Actually, even when I was fifteen they realized that there were things that should be confidential between me and my doctor. They were rarely ever present in the room during exams, so I had privacy then and spoke freely with my doctor. My mom knows I take birth control (not just for the intended purposes) and just gave me some information about it that I wasn't aware of, then let the decision about taking it be mine. She's a neurologist so she had reasons for me not using marijuana to ease chemo symptoms since it has more of a neurological effect on younger people. I ended up just resorting to acupuncture, which was totally ironic considering my needle phobia, but it worked. I highly recommend it.

The threats for revoking privileges has to do with missing necessary medical appointments because I wanted to do something else, or because I was

Anonymous2012-12-03T04:43:44Z

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My parents did, then again I'm not in the US.

Your question made it sound like your dad was still making decisions about your medical care as an adult to the point of forcing it on you, either through bullying tactics or even physically. That's not normal when you are an adult, and is not the same as discussing it with them, having them involved in paying for it, taking you to appointments, or collecting medication (all of which it would be completely normal for parents, or indeed any other friend or relative, to do provided you chose to have them do it).

I'm glad you're coping better now and I hope you stay in remission.

Jenny2012-12-03T15:53:46Z

I am already stepping back and my child is not even 18. When she turned 15 or 16, I started giving her the choice of seeing her doctor by herself while I wait outside. Once she is 18, the only way that I'd "be involved" in her medical care is if she asked me to be. Neither of my children have any serious medical conditions, though. I might act differently if they did.
My mother was über-involved in my medical care when I was a young adult. After I had gotten married and lived with my husband in our own apartment, I got sick with the flu. My parents came and picked me up to care for me in their apartment, made doctor's appointments for me, and supervised me while taking medication... I don't want to be like that with my own children. Anything that fosters dependency makes me cringe. I will always be available to give advice to my kids but ultimately, once they are adults, they need to be able to make their own decisions because I won't live forever.

royalbird2012-12-03T15:40:35Z

My parents have always been concerned. While they don't do anything like make calls for me and stopped doing that when I turned 18, they do ask about my health and they do give advice about health and medical topics that may come up. I think most loving parents still are concerned, but different parents take different approaches to the subject--some are more involved than others.

Pretty Maggie Money Eyes2012-12-03T13:57:20Z

Yeah, that is weird for an adult's parents to be involved. Why? Unless you sign that form the doctors aren't allowed to talk to your parents at all. She didn't know your circumstance. Obviously you need all the help you can get. No need to post a huge rant about one answer. If you want answers that don't get your knickers in a twist, by all means post this on every question you ask so that everyone knows the whole story before they answer, or fall asleep. Best of luck to you!

Lark2012-12-03T15:12:59Z

My parents were involved in certain aspects. I was diagnosed with MS at age 22. My mom, was instrumental in getting appointments set up, going with me for tests, etc. when I was home from college for a short period of time. How to proceed with my treatment was entirely up to me. i went back to school 1000 miles away a few days after my diagnosis, saw a new doc on my own, made decisions on my treatment. I did not pay for any of it, as I was covered under my parents insurance until I graduated college. They paid the copays or whatever other payment was required. Once I graduated college, I had to get my own insurance and all payments were up to me.

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