I am a 21 year old male, living with my parents. I am not sure about my sexual orientation. I was seeking some advice on what to do now. When I am in my house I do watch gay porn and straight porn but when I'm outside the house I mostly look at women. Its not that I never look at men, every now and then I'll see a guy and think I'd tap that. I'd feel like I'd be going against myself if I was to date men, but I do have a strong sexual attraction I feel. I have never dated and I am still a virgin, and because of my parents I couldn't even seek advice from them.
xanfboi2013-02-12T20:33:13Z
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My Question:
You say you have attraction to both genders, but the idea of dating a guy is "going against yourself". What does that mean?
Is it that it feels unnatural, or just SCARY thinking about how OTHERS might view it? If no one in your life had ever influenced you, one way or the other, and you lived in an environment where either lifestyle was equally acceptable, would you still be repulsed?
Based on your comment: "because of my parents I couldn't even seek advice from them", I'm tempted to say that you may have (unconsciously) absorbed some bias against gay relationships. Love is love, my friend, and it knows no gender.
My advice:
Don't be hung up on labels like 'gay' and 'straight'. In general, whether they admit it or not, a vast majority of people tend to be somewhere in the middle, to varying degrees. I've known many a 'straight' man who have or would get with another guy under the right circumstances. And conversely, many 'gay' people, myself included, have had opposite-sex relationships.
Also, if you haven't already done so, get a support network going; find friends or an outreach group with whom you can share your true feelings. You can even contact me for follow up, if you'd like.
I think you should experiment. I think it would really help in your case because it sounds like you may have an attraction to both males and females, but would be kind of..not ashamed but disappointed if you do like guys. If you're attracted to both males and females sexually, physically, and emotionally then you're bisexual. But if you're only attracted to either males or females in that way, then you'd be gay or straight. Go with what feels right. Try dating both and see what feels better or if you enjoy both. Best of luck!