Relationship advice about my ex who cheated on me?
Please don't judge. For those of you who have experienced love you will know why I kept getting back together with him, for those who haven't please don't be hurtful. My ex boyfriend cheated, we got back together, cheated again, we got back together, and then he cheated again. He tells me all these wonderful things, theres no doubt there is a connection when we kiss, indescribable and amazing. I've tried so hard to let him go, and I literally can't. I need advice, some help. I have no clue what to do all I know is that I cant live with out him. He is such a liar but theres got to be truth in some of the things he says. We both know we have a connection beyond anything that we've ever experienced before, I want him so bad. Please.. just help me. Thank you very much.
Delores Sanbourne2013-05-21T07:39:47Z
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Girl, it's up to you whether you're worth being faithful for or not. If you stay with him he will cheat. If you want to be treated like that, proceed. If you feel you're worth more, find an honest, decent man. None of us on here can judge your self worth, you're only worth what you require from others.
You literally CAN let him go, you just CHOOSE not to.
That's right, it's a choice. Somewhere in your mind you absolve him of everything he's done and believe him to be something he's not: faithful, loyal, caring of your needs.
You say you "both" experience a connection unlike any other but it sounds like only you do. Because this "amazing connection" he has is one where he continues to cheat on you and hurt you and betray you regardless of how it makes you feel. He doesn't care about you the way you care about him. That is what it comes down to. Betraying someone over and over again is not love.
But what you see is what you get. He has lied and cheated 3 times. I am not judging, but I will say that from the outside, it would appear that you have low self-esteem and believe that you are not deserving a a more loving/monogamous/healthy relationship which is why you take him back time and time again.
Until you have had enough, you will experience the same. It just hasn't happened for you yet which is why you stay in the same rut, doing the same thing, expecting a different outcome.
As long as you love and respect HIM more than you do yourself, nobody can help you. Obviously he doesn't feel the same "connection" you do. If you feel you "can't live without him", then continue being a fool. And don't tell us if we've experienced love we'd understand. I'm in love with my wife and she's in love with me. But we respect ourselves too much to allow ourselves to be $hitted on. That's not love, that dependence. You wreak of desperation which is why he'll never stop cheating. Why should he? Learn to love yourself first and stop tying your happiness to a man. And this is coming from a man.
First of all you can live without him, you just choose not to.
You need to seek some guidance. How can you allow him to cheat on you continually? You do have low self esteem issues and I don't mean to sound harsh here.
This guy is bad news. You are allowing him to treat you poorly and he knows you will accept his nonsense. This won't stop. GET OUT! This relationship is toxic.
...and yes, I've been in love...but I also know that someone who would cheat on me, doesn't deserve my love so I don't find it all that difficult to walk away...I'm worth more than being used and betrayed by a lying, selfish, lowlife, piece-of-trash cheater...when you realize that about yourself, you'll be ready to move on and do what's right for you...
Yes, you CAN let him go...you CHOOSE not to (big difference)...so what are you gaining by continually playing the victim to this guy??? He can be as unkind to you as he wants, because you don't love yourself enough to tell him to get lost...
Funny how the 'connection' you claim to have, that you both know about, isn't something he chooses to share only with you...how many other chicks is he 'connecting' with??? That connection is in your head, and he'll play along because it keeps you coming back for more...