I need help doing this properly. I don't want to cause family drama.?
My grandparents are divorced but still live together for money reasons (neither can afford to live on their own). I am going to be getting married in May and I want my grandmother to come but not him. About a year ago he and I had a falling out and I said I never wanted to see or talk to him ever again.. And I intend to keep it that way. I know it's a little childish of me but it's my wedding and I don't want him there. How can I make it clear to my grandmother that she's more than welcomed to come but he isn't? I've already told her that I didn't want him there, that she was more than welcomed to come but he wasn't.. Do I put only one on her invitation? Others I'm doing it as the family member + spouse or date. Is it rude to say she can't bring him as her date? I know he'll just act like an jack butt and make me want to throw him out. I know that he'll make my day about him some how.
slenderella2013-08-24T15:49:11Z
Favorite Answer
Honey, PLEASE don't do this. You are going to create a LOT of drama, and if your grandma has to leave grandpa home alone, then she will miss out on one of the most joyous events of your entire life. I think that before you send the invitation to BOTH of them, tell grandma that you are concerned about how grandpa may act at the wedding. Tell her that if it were up to you, you would ask that he stay home. See what she has to say about it.
I think you should perhaps try and make things up with your grandpa.
Do you REALLY REALLY want to cause further family friction by not inviting him?
Ok it's a personal situation you got and you have not given any hint what the falling out was about and not sure how long ago you had a falling out but should you not at least try and repair the damage?
Test the water by talking to him maybe and if the situation is he is not interested or kicks up such a fuss then my answer is DO NOT INVITE HIM however this could also mean your grandma may not want to attend on her own.
It is not childish because it is your wedding and you have the right to invite who you choose.
But it's my opinion "people deserve a second chance"
Like someone else has said it's not as though he's been a perv or something but if he has then again DO NOT INVITE HIM.
I had a falling out with my brother some years back and we didn't speak for three years.
But we sat down and spoke our minds and cleared the air and now we are very close brothers.
Whatever you decide make sure you do it for the right reasons.
You only live once so make it a good one.
Good luck with your wedding day.
I am getting married in October :)
Sadly both my grandparents have died some years back and I regret never seeing them due to my parents not getting on well with them and I would have loved them to attend my wedding.
Take Grandma aside and explain to her that he can come but if he makes a fool of himself or causes any problems you will ask her to take him home.I had a brother who I was in the same situation with and it all worked out just fine.There were a lot of people around so I did not have to spend much time with him and he was a perfect gentleman.You don't want to spend your day explain where grandpa is so let him come along but tell grandma he is on a short leash and you may need her help.
Now the ONLY reason I would say NOT to invite him is if he had been inappropriate with you, like being a perv or something that bad.If so, he doesn't deserve to be there.
I can't think of any nice way to invite your grandmother and exclude your grandfather. I say invite them both; but have some "muscle" on hand to escort him out if he creates any drama or makes a scene.