Okay serious answers only. I just recently found my biological father. I have talked to him barley. He is homeless. Should I help him out?

Question

Mybiological father is now homeless and he has panic attacks n is dyslexic has other mental illnesses. I was adopted at 7 months to a family that never have gave a 5hit about me except for the man that adopted me but he died when I was 8.  so, I found my real dad and he is mentally Ill n now homeless. Won't say much online but a few words but I think that because of dyslexia maybe? I talk to his best friend very often like a few times week. He's been letting my dad stay with him. He can't stay forever though. Dad is an amazing artist but owns nothing is very poor. I am on disability and my wife works and we have two kids and one on the way. We make $30,000 a year. Ok I have saved up $1800 for extra spending cash n since my dad is pretty much homeless I'm thinking of traveling over 2,000 miles to meet him n to buy him a $1200-$1500 RV that runs good so he has wheels n a home. Thing is my sisters (his daughters whom I just met too) say I'm either stupid or have a really super big heart. They say I have a baby on the way n buying him the RV won't make dad any more willing to be a father to us or to communicate with us over the phone (he's never called me even once). Okay my whole life I have longed to have a dad n to find my real dad. I am chasing a dream here! Should I go meet him n buy him that RV? I already told his friend I am going to and man dad is old I feel sorry for him. He abandon my sisters when they were 1 but he was only 17 when they were born. Please help Me decide

marys.momma · Answer

I think there must be better ways to help your father besides impoverishing your own family.  You know, an RV needs fuel, insurance, license plates and maintenance, as well as arrangements to park it somewhere.  It would need electrical hookups for heat and light, and plumbing connections for water and sanitation.  With winter approaching, these requirements would be vital.  It's probable that your father could not handle the upkeep of the RV, so it would become total trash very quickly unless you arranged to pay those expenses and hired someone to make sure everything remains okay.

How about getting social services where he lives involved?  Since he's 2000 miles away, constant travel to see to his needs would be financially ruinous.  You can initiate quite a bit of help from a distance, by phone.  Talk to your own local social services for advice on the best way to proceed.

He'd be just as homeless if you brought him back to where you live, unless he could get into some kind of permanent shelter.  They're hard to find, and many have limits for how long a person can stay.  If you were to bring him into your own household, that would be extremely disruptive for your wife and your small children.

Bottom line:  If you want to help him, try to work within the framework where he already lives.

Judith · Answer

Maybe you should discussed the buying of RV to your wife first since you said you're going to have another baby. It is good that you are thinking the welfare of your father even if you feel that he does not care at all. If your wife agrees on some of your suggestions regarding your father then you can decide what would be best for him.

Homer · Answer

Of course you should but dont buy him an rv instead take him back in the family and love him alot because i love my parents and God also said to treat the homeless nicely and never anger your parents man.
Hope he gets better

? · Answer

Why can I only see two answers here? Anyone else?

Anonymous · Answer

No

Okay serious answers only. I just recently found my biological father. I have talked to him barley. He is homeless. Should I help him out?

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