Should I help my newly found biological elderly hippie father?

Question

Mybiological father is now homeless and he has panic attacks n is dyslexic has other mental illnesses. I was adopted at 7 months to a family that never have gave a 5hit about me except for the man that adopted me but he died when I was 8.  so, I found my real dad and he is mentally Ill n now homeless. Won't say much online but a few words but I think that because of dyslexia maybe? I talk to his best friend very often like a few times week. He's been letting my dad stay with him. He can't stay forever though. Dad is an amazing artist but owns nothing is very poor. I am on disability and my wife works and we have two kids and one on the way. We make $30,000 a year. Ok I have saved up $1800 for extra spending cash n since my dad is pretty much homeless I'm thinking of traveling over 2,000 miles to meet him n to buy him a $1200-$1500 RV that runs good so he has wheels n a home. Thing is my sisters (his daughters whom I just met too) say I'm either stupid or have a really super big heart. They say I have a baby on the way n buying him the RV won't make dad any more willing to be a father to us or to communicate with us over the phone (he's never called me even once). Okay my whole life I have longed to have a dad n to find my real dad. I am chasing a dream here! Should I go meet him n buy him that RV? I already told his friend I am going to and man dad is old I feel sorry for him. He abandon my sisters when they were 1 but he was only 17 when they were born. Please help Me decide

luvmy3boys · Answer

Hi!  I have been in a  very similar situation with my dad, who has since passed away.  I would suggest using some of the money to go down, visit your dad, and while you are there try to find him some help.  There are programs to help him get off the streets, especially if he's mentally ill.   I can tell your heart is in the right place, but the RV doesn't sound like a good long term solution.  There will be issues with gas and maintenance that he just won't be able to handle.  So, go for a visit, stay a few days and try to find some long term solutions, and use the rest of your money to support your family.  Put it in a savings account as a little emergency fund. It's admirable that you would like to help your dad, but your wife and children have to come first.  Good luck to you!

Kathie · Answer

even though he couldn't raise you doesnt mean he doesn't or didn't care. You need to find it in your heart to forgive him. Buying him the tv is a great thing but have you aleardy researched prices on it? How will he pay for gas? where will he park it (RV parks charge) Im not saying don't buy it for him, just look into all the aspects so that you know what to expect. Don't listen to your family members. They don't see things the same as you, so who are they to judge your options?

Dr. Stephanie · Answer

Your desire to help is born out of your deeper wish to reunite with your real father .  But I think it may turn out to be not as good as you would hope, given the problems you outlined.  IF you wish to help him, perhaps a better plan would be to try and connect him with services in his community, who can provide outreach, financial help, medical service, and counseling.  My sense is that buying him an r.v. would be like trying to put a band aid on a big wound.  Your wish to help may be better channeled as advised.  Good luck, Dr.S.

Blah Blah Blah · Answer

Honestly when you give like that big blessings come your way even if you do give your last to someone you barely know you will get it back 10 fold. So if you feel like its the right thing to do even if it doesnt turn out good you still wanna take that risk i would do it

Random Chick · Answer

i think that you should buy that RV because if you really loved your father you would forgive him for abandoning you and you would want to help him out

Should I help my newly found biological elderly hippie father?

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