Is it normal to treat a 2 year olds birthday like Christmas? READ DETAILS )!! Plz and thx?

My fiancé and I are together.. We have a two year old daughter.
The mother's(of the child)mom&dad are divorced
The father(of the child)& his future inlaws hate each other. No contact at all. Not going to go into details but..they did horrible things to try to break us up & put our daughter in jeopardy(her moms whole side).. Her dad was just a huge asshole.
-every unbiased 3rd party person that knows the details say that they are ****** up people and I am justified for not being ready to reconcile. My fiancé already has letters written to her family telling them how terrible what they did was. Waiting to send
------ so at CHRISTMAS...... My daughter was torn between 4 Christmases..... Daughters moms mom... Daughters moms dads
Fiancé and I....... And dads parents
ANYWAYS.. HERES THE REAL QUESTION....
My fiancé feels we need to treat her birthday the same way.....
That all these extended family members have to have their own parties.
My opinion is that this isn't Christmas, it's a birthday. Even though I don't like my finances family, I still didn't object to them having time with our daughter around the holidays. They are still my finances family, and they are still my daughters family.
Do children usually celebrate birthdays multiple times with multiple family members.. Like most people do Christmas?????????????
Like how you do Xmas eve one place, and maybe a few more on Xmas day?
My fiancé is of the mindset that this is normal. And that everyone does this. Opinions please?

Ista2015-01-22T17:29:05Z

Everybody wants a chance to celebrate. In families with conflict, it's quite normal to have separate celebrations of the same event. Not just at Christmas, but birthdays, thanksgiving, Easter, etc. as well.

Ranchmom12015-01-22T19:03:57Z

At age 2 I wouldn't do four parties.

When she's older, maybe each group will want to take her out to eat around her birthday and that would be fine, but no child needs four parties. We didn't even have one party when our girls were that age.

Anna2015-01-22T19:26:31Z

I don't think you should deny your child love or celebration from people who want to love and celebrate her.

If you can't have one big nice party where everyone is invited then I think you "let" everyone celebrate it as they want.

Sure she will be a little spoiled but too much love never hurt anyone.

Izzy2015-01-22T16:57:02Z

Our family doesn't usually do this. Honestly it's your daughter too, if you don't like this compromise. Maybe one short big party.

?2015-01-22T17:15:05Z

Yeah its normal as long as you dont treat her as Jesus.