Should i tell my mother that i got my girlfriend pregnant and that we plan to place it for adoption?
I do not really want to tell my family simply because they'll either tell me to keep the child, scold me for it, and i can not take care of a child at this moment.
I'm 20 if anyone is wondering. still in college and currently unemployed. We feel that an open adoption will be better that way the child will have a family that can take care of it and me and my girlfriend can get ourselves together by finishing our schooling.
I just feel bad if my mother does not know but at the same time i already know how this will turn out as stated above.
2015-03-03T10:11:45Z
again if we go through with the adoption it will be an open adoption meaning we will have information about the child, pictures, letters, videos etc and it as it grows up.
mayra2015-03-03T10:05:38Z
I don't think you should place this child for adoption , cuz years down the road youll regret it . I was 17 fell pregnant and with twins not out of high school these girl motivated me to be the best I can , gave birth got a job and they are my everything my motivation my reason I had my job 5 years my daughters well turn 6 in a few months take in mind you can be rich and everything you need to supply one day and the next day nothing why base this in money, you need to be responsible and realize this is life , today were poor but that child well have love theres way to do it why keep it from family this is a decision that well affect everyone , what if this child need your family history or worst a body part donation . take in mind all the stuff and please rethink my husband was givin for adoption open and he sees his biological mom as just the womb and his adoptive as mom beautiful he was blessed with lots of love , but its not the babys fault your not ready , he had other siblings that she kept
It's unfortunate that you feel like you HAVE to give up your child for adoption merely for the reason you don't feel like you could not look after this child right now, but at the same time, I give you my support in making this incredibly hard decision. I don't really know you or your mother, so it's hard to say whether telling her would actually be beneficial or detrimental to your relationship, and to the health of your child. I know in my family, they would guilt me and harass me endlessly until I did what they though was right. And if you feel like your mom or family would not respect your wishes, it may be better to wait until everything has been done and settled. Grandmothers can get extremely protective, and who knows, she may try and dissuade the adoptive parents if you give her any information, she may even still feel she has a right to the child after adoption, but as I said, I don't know you or your family. In the end, the choice is always up to you. Choosing to tell them, or choosing to wait, only way to find out is to do it.
Only YOU can decide if your mother should know. You are an ADULT. Adoptions are a great idea. But keeping it from your mother will be difficult. Do you ever have your gf over for a meal at her house? Thanksgiving? Birthdays? You may have to resort to A LOT OF LIES. Are you sure you want that? Mothers (I am one) are very forgiving and encouraging. Well, I am anyway. You decide with your lady's imput.
I know you didnt ask for advice on this but im going to voice my opinion. If your only reason to give up your child is for school, your going to regret it. School is not forever and your baby doesnt need his/her parents to be rich. Even though i fully support adoption i dont think you should give up your child over situations that are only temporary. You should tell your family. Get there support and see where it takes you.
Tell your family. It is yours and your girlfriend's child, and you have the right to do what you want. I personally would keep the child, even though it is hard. Good luck!