Could I get an objective point of view on this sticky florist situation?
I’ve gotten myself in the middle of a big mess and am curious how others would view the situation. I used to work for a florist, and a coworker at my new job asked me if I could connect her with the florist to order wholesale flowers for a wedding she was helping a friend with. The florist agreed and said she would sell them to my coworker for wholesale price plus $25 for the time, which is very generous. I told my coworker to send the florist her flower list. Instead, my coworker sent a long email full of very basic questions about floral arranging, and the florist said she would need to come in for a consultation.
In the meantime, the florist contacted me upset that this girl was basically asking her for free advice on what she makes a living doing, and on a busy holiday weekend, so I apologized and said it’s fine to charge her for the time. My coworker went in for the consultation, the florist gave her a huge guilt trip, made her feel like a giant burden, and charged her $500.
My coworker is in way over her head with this wedding and is young and naïve. What she did was inappropriate, but she just didn’t know better. I feel that if the florist felt like it was such a burden, she should have just said “no” and pointed us somewhere else rather than saying yes, giving us both huge guilt trips, and then charging her an outrageous amount for a 1-hour consultation. I see both of these people frequently and am not sure how to smooth this over. Thoughts?
Messykatt2016-05-13T08:36:05Z
This started heading south the minute you you agreed to get involved. You barely know this co-worker, she's planning a wedding for someone you've never met, yet apparently it didn't occur to you to say no?!?! Part of the fallout from this is you've lost your chance to "refer" a close friend or sib to the florist.
Also, it sounds like you're getting your info about that consultation from your co-worker, which may be unfair and is always risky. It just doesn't compute that someone willing to give you a great deal on wholesale cost would suddenly turn into a greedy pig. What you don't seem to realize is that, to use your own words, you dumped a naive and inappropriate situation on a friend and ex employer.
Anyway, believe it or not, I'm saying this to be helpful, because you were the catalyst that set all of this in motion. I would tell the co-worker you've learned the hard way that business and pleasure don't mix, and wedding talk is over. Then I would apologize to your florist. None of this should happened.
PS On your boss asking you to get involved, this is the most inappropriate thing of all! Still, I'm sure there was a way to tell him you'd help, but you're not bringing others into it. You'll just provide general guidance.
Also, 2 questions. Is this a small office? Is your co-worker planning the wedding because the boss asked her to?
It is was not your place to tell your florist friend that it was "OK to charge her". It is your coworker's prerogative to decide what she can or can't pay, and set up contractual arrangements as she sees fit. Neither you nor the florist curved her unrealistic expectations, and led her on.
Your friend the florist could have answered her email with a no, or tell her to come in for a consultation for a $500 fee. But instead, you both set up this stupid girl to chastise her and/or take advantage of her. Yes, you helped set up the ambush too by OK-ing this outlandish situation before it happened. The coworker was under the impression that she was getting something for nothing thanks to your connection, and no one bothered to tell her that she wasn't getting anything for free.
You can't smooth this over. All you can tell your florist friend is that you are done helping stupid little girls, and tell your coworker to figure things out herself because you do not want to be involved any longer in her bussiness.
It's not your job to smooth this over. Nor should you get involved in this situation.
This is between them. Your coworker asked you to refer her to the florist, which you did. Your job is done.
It doesn't matter how you feel about the situation, or who was right/wrong. Your involvement in the situation ended once you introduced them to each other. Now it's up to them to figure out how to proceed with the transaction.
Really, it's in your best interest to just stay out of this and let them handle it.
Frankly, your florist friend sounds kind of mean. It's fine if she didn't want to be giving out free advice, but she handled it very unprofessionally. She should've said, "I cannot answer these questions over email. Come in to the shop for a consultation. We can discuss your questions and pricing when you get here." Boom, done, the end. She shouldn't have laid the guilt trip on your coworker friend and she shouldn't have complained to you about it.
Also, $500 for a mere consultation (assuming your coworker friend didn't actually get any flowers out of the deal) is completely insane. Consultations should be FREE. That's why it's called a CONSULTATION - it's so final prices and ideas can be discussed, and so the consumer can decide whether or not they want to hire that vendor. Your florist friend sounds like a con artist, frankly, if flowers were not included in this $500 bill. If I were the coworker I wouldn't pay it.
Assuming there's no actual contract here, I'd advise that the coworker and the florist part ways, and your coworker friend find a more professional florist to handle her wedding order.
But, again, STAY OUT OF IT. You could jeopardize your friendship and your job if you get involved in this mess. If either of them start complaining to you or asking for advice, just say, "I'd really prefer not to get involved, and I hope you two can sort it out" and then quickly change the subject. Again, it is not your job to play Peacemaker here. They are adults, and they can handle it themselves. If they cannot, that's not your problem.
Lesson learned - be VERY careful about providing business referrals to your friends. Try not to mix business and friendship in the future. It's fine to say, "I know/used XVendor and they were great, here's their phone number" and then BACK AWAY and let them handle it themselves. Do not play referee or attempt to "smooth things over" if they don't get along.
Butt out. The "problem" is that you want to keep your fingers in this very sticky pie. You should have made it initial introduction and made it clear to both parties that you were not the mediator or go-between and that they were on their own.
For crying out loud, look at the the meddling and overstepping you did based on your post. Unless you are willing to foot the bill or provide the service, it is NEVER your place to tell people what services will be provided or if they should charge.
Your co-worker is cheap. Your former boss in unprofessional and you are a busybody.