Could someone please critique this poem?
“On a Card for a Double Nuptuals”
Pariahs and Ishmaels arise,
Let's wipe the blindness from our eyes.
Love's a chance, but time's a felon -
Put ice cream on that watermelon!
Find, and live together one
To savor with the joys of fun -
To relish, even, perhaps more -
'til one who're two are three – no, four!
Delighting in variety
Delight must veil in secrecy,
Let secret door's forfould menage -
Two couples' duplex – seem mirage.
For jealousy's there dead
As feeds within his head
An earwig of illicit lusting -
Desire has grown friendship-trusting.
Wives, their husbands, who so bop
As dance this four-way spousal swap,
Take, wedded to a higher power,
Pariahs, Ishmaels, your hour.