How can I stop my younger sister being mean to me and thinking she is better than me?

I am 20 and my 16 year old sister thinks that she is better than me. She is very confident and thinks that she is more mature than me and that she can do and understand everything better than me. Every time I come home from university I try to be nice to her and have a better realtionship with her but I just can’t because it’s very undermining to have a 16 year old treat you like a child when you’re 4 years older than her. She tells me what to do like she’s older than me and talks to me like I’m completely dumb. I’ve tried to talk to my parents but they won’t do anything about it. My mother likes that my sister is the way she is because she’s glad that she has a lot of confidence unlike my mother or myself. My father understands what I’m feeling but would never stand up to my mother or sister. How can I put her in her place and show her that she isn’t abover me and that I am the adult not her? I can’t be mean to her the way she is to me because I would feel bad for upseting her. She on the other hand knows that I am a sensitive person and will say anything she wants to upset me without feeling any guilt. How can I stand Up to her?

steve2018-12-21T20:23:52Z

I had a similar problem but with an older sister.

I sent her a letter detailing everything that was wrong in her life that she needed to sort out before she could possibly be judgemental about me and my life.

All the criticism and sanctimonious, self righteous behaviour stopped.

Pearl L2018-12-20T00:42:12Z

nnaybe you should stay sonnewhere else and visit your parents fronn there

Patricia2018-12-19T22:29:29Z

Well, first of all, she tells you what to do like she's older than you because YOU LET HER. Not sure why you even pay attention to her.

And you are reacting! You tell your Mother about it, you're complaining here, so i'm going to assume that you react negatively toward her or about her comments when she says things to you

You're just giving her fuel to continue. It's like tossing gasoline onto a fire

STOP reacting! When she says something condescending, you have choices. You can either have a hissy fit or immediately smile, be calm and as you're smiling say something like:
"oh, sorry you feel that way"
or
"i hope you start feeling better soon"
or
"I love you anyway"
or
"Wow! We are having such nice weather, don't you think?"
or
"by the way, how is school going?"

In other words, come back with a positive response, or one that has nothing to do with her stupid commentary. And SMILE! Then, after you say whatever it is, turn around and go about your day. If you're in a situation with other people, just start talking to someone else after you comment to your sister (and smile at her) .

You don't realize that your negative reactions please your sister. So start reacting positively or just be neutral. Always be pleasant. This way, you're getting the upper hand.

By the way, neither of you are "adults". An adult would have figured this out by now.

I find it odd that your sister can make you feel things, you probably don't want to feel. That'sFucked up. Issue some emotional control!

If you do as i suggest, it will only be a matter of time before she gets bored with it all. And if she stops doing it for while, just remember she might still try it once in a while. So just act as if you're unconcerned. Honestly, i don't know why you're so concerned about her behavior anyway. She's acting like an idiot, which, in turn, causes you to act like one. You don't have to

Anonymous2018-12-19T21:17:20Z

a swift kick in the tw*t will bring her back down to earth

?2018-12-19T15:28:27Z

Her behavior will likely stop itself as she matures and realizes she's been a teenaged brat. But for now, just realize that she behaves like a child because she IS a child.

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