My ex tells my son's they are traitors if they see me?
My older son doesn't care because he loves me. My younger son makes it a secret to see me. My ex is not a good person he spreads lies about me says he raised the boys. Meanwhile I was a stay at home mom raising our boys. My ex has anger issues and I left because he was a cruel father but my youngest stayed with him is there a way for him to stand up to his father? My son can always live with me but I think he is afraid of what his father will say my son is 21
Pearl L2019-05-05T14:59:11Z
rnaybe you should get custody of your younger son if his father is so cruel
Wait a minute.....your sons are grown up men now, right?
By now, you have taught them the adult life skill of asserting themselves and learning how to stand up for what they believe in. By now, they should know how to confront their father and llive their own free lives. By now, they should not be controlled and influenced by their father.
By now, they should be grown men who can stand up for themselves.
You need to have a calm reasonable talk with him, and help him to understand that it's the kids he is hurting. Parents must never use their children as weapons. You two are the adults. Smooth things out for the kids; don't pile edicts and guilt on them. That's a child's game, not the actions of a mature adult. And yes you are welcome to show him my post.
Kids, Divorce, And Manipulation: Parents Who Use Kids As Weapons https://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/blog/newjersey-child-parenting-issues/kids-divorce-manipulation-parents-use-kids-weapons/
It's wrong to use children as a weapon in divorce or separation https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/jun/21/wrong-to-use-children-as-weapon-divorce-separation
Call him out, tell him in front of your kids that what happened between both of you has nothing to do with the kids, tell her "Excuse me if I seem rude, is not my intention and less to bring this up in front of my kids but what happened between us has nothing to do with them, I love my kids no matter what happened. So stop poisioning them and using them as an excuse or a way to get back at me. Because is not me you're hurting is them and if you really are a good dad, you would stop this and grow up."
"Our son is old enough to choose if he wants to stay with me and there is nothing wrong with that."
You need to stand up for yourself more, tell your social worker what is going on. If your kids are in a abusive home they should give them to you.