Why doee my boyfriend's narcissistic alcoholic brother out of the blue want to have a talk with me? Long story short we don't get along. ?

Question

I use to ignore him after an incident happened. But I've forgiven him even though he never apologized to me. I don't care to be around him but I'm friendly and talk to him about stupid ****. Idk if he thinks having a talk will make things go back to the way they were. I'm not against talking to him if thats what he wants but it's not going to change my feelings towards him or his girlfriend. I will not go out if my to hang out with them like old times. So idk why he thinks it's necessary but he says it has to happen sooner or later. I also will not talk to him alone. Anything he has to say to me he can also say in front of his brother. However I know he will want to talk in private (which my boyfriend finds weird). Should I give him the opportunity to have a conversation? Is it juts going to be pointless? What are your thoughts on this matter??

Foofa · Answer

A major part of every sobriety program is to make amends to those you've wronged. So if he's trying to get sober he may just need to apologize to you. This is pretty standard rehab behavior and I've received many such calls from people I'd written off as hopeless.

seedy history · Answer

If you don't feel it is safe or smart to have a private conversation with your bf's brother.. don't do it! The fact your bf thinks it's weird his brother wants a personal relationship with you is very important. Far more important than what his brother wants. I say, go with your gut.

Glass · Answer

You have stayed on friendly terms and still talk to him. It is reasonable for him to assume you would be open to reconciliation. I think you need to make a choice. Either hear him out and settle this, or tell him you don't want a relationship with him at all and cut ties. You don't need to go back to the way things were, but he needs to know where he stands and you need to set firm boundaries.

If you agree to speak with him, you dictate the terms. Don't see him alone. If he is truly sorry and has good intentions, he will respect your decision and put your comfort first. No excuses. Cut ties with him completely if he doesn't agree, it's a massive red flag and he has done nothing to earn the benefit of the doubt.

Sandy · Answer

don't go or if you do, have a can of mace or pepper spray handy. a taser would work too. Don't turn you back on this guy or  drink ANYTHING he prepares for you! He's dangerous.

Why doee my boyfriend's narcissistic alcoholic brother out of the blue want to have a talk with me? Long story short we don't get along. ?

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