I am afraid to breakup with my boyfriend?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 7+ years and we live together. For the past year, we have talked about breaking up a few times but always fell back to staying together. I feel like I am in a tug-of-war with my emotions about our relationship. One side of me loves being with him and cherishes the deep connection we have with each other. Everytime I think of not being with him, I feel extremely heartbroken. The other half of me is curious to see what it would be like with another person (we were both our only other significant others), and see what life holds for me other than just my current bf. It may seem unfair but I am afraid to breakup with him because I am afraid I won't find anyone that has such a connection with me. I trust him 100% and we are both 100% loyal, and sometimes hearing stories of others' relationships makes me very scared of the people who are out there in the dating world now. Cheating is so common these days which terrifies me. We have so much together already and I don't want to give up what we have, but I do want things to get better. Any advice?

Anonymous · Answer

why are people so afraid of cheating is beyond me. there re so much more things in life way scarier than cheating. like death, illness, being poor. for u - if u like to live stagnant so u live stagnant. if u like to live your life at the full u live your life at the full. the one who does not risk does not drink champagne.

Mike · Answer

Seems to me you are nowhere near ready to be in a long term situation.

? · Answer

Well, I've been married over 20 years, and prior to that I've had sex with over 30 partners, so I'll give you what advice I can.

You'll never forget your first love, not ever.  No matter who else you date, fall in love with or just plain sleep with, you'll always remember that first true love.

And you're right, there are some serious psychopaths in the dating world.  That's always been true, and always will be.  I understand that you'd like to try at least one other flavour before you die, but there's no way to do that without taking risks.  You risk hooking up with a jerk, or a stalker, or a guy who's just in it for the sex, or a convict, or god knows what else.  And you definitely risk never finding a better guy than the one you've got now.  You can't win if you don't gamble, but gambling also means you can lose.

At the end of the day, ask yourself one question:  Which scares you more, living with this guy for the rest of your life, or living without him?  Don't answer me, answer yourself.  And when you answer, be totally honest.  Nobody ever lied to themselves and got away with it, so tell yourself the truth.

I am afraid to breakup with my boyfriend?

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