I'm a middle-aged attractive woman. I have been on a date site for a while. I show flattering pictures, try to have good conversations, I act friendly. I get a lot of guys that just want to do small chat or they say things like you are very beautiful, anyone should be glad to have you but they don't ask me out. A lot of the guys on there chat or want a virtual relationship.
This one guy texts me every single day and even offered to buy lingerie for me. I see no point in this because he always just texts me day to day things. No one seems to be interested in any sort of relationship yet they find me attractive.
Most of the guys are usually younger than me but even the middle-aged ones aren't looking for a relationship. What am I doing wrong?
Anonymous2020-05-09T20:50:49Z
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You need to be more results oriented. The goal here is to find and MEET potential dates, not to have conversations with people you've never met. Having conversations with people who know only on-line may be an entertaining way to fill your empty time, but it's not a good way to MEET, to find out whether a guy is dating material.
No matter how wonderful someone may seem on-line, meeting in real life can reveal that person to be a "no way Jose" reject. And then all that time and effort you invested into "getting to know" the guy has been a total waste. It's not "let's spend a lot of time on-line to find out whether meeting in real life is worth while." It's "let's meet in real life to find out whether spending time on-line is worth while."
Try applying business to etiquette to dating site instead of social etiquette. Look at guys' profiles as if you're reviewing job applications. Weed out the unsuitable candidates ruthlessly. Invite the others to come in for a short face to face interview. "I like your profile, especially ___. Could you join me for coffee at Dina's Diner, Highway 26 in Greenville? Would a Tuesday evening or Saturday afternoon work for you? Plan for about 20 minutes. Yours, Polka Dot."
And no, don't offer to "go Dutch" or meet half way. A guy that isn't quite willing to travel to your area and buy you a coffee to meet you is a guy who won't be willing to travel your area to spend time you, who want to spend on shared outings. Such a guy isn't worth dating. Forget him and move on to the next candidate.
Have as many of these coffee meet ups as you can fit into your schedule. If you know quickly that you aren't interested in dating the guy, then you thank him for coming, leave a couple $ to cover your coffee, and get out of there. Otherwise, spend the 15 minutes "interviewing the applicant."
You may have to meet dozens of guys before anyone happens along that you want to date. Make the first date short and cheap. You don't want to stuck for hours with someone who grows less and less attractive with better acquaintance, nor end up covering your half of an expensive outing that didn't turn out well. But at least you're not wasting your time chatting up guys who aren't particularly interested in actually MEETING you.