i am currently 17 turning 18 this year. i graduate next may however i am already ahead of the game taking college classes. studying abroad has always been a dream of mine and i just want to get out if of here, even if its temporary. however my father says no. my father says i cant move out until im 29 or have a degree. he says if i move abroad (even tho i assured him it's temporary) he said he would die from missing me. i have never had a job, dont have my liscense, both of my parents have narcissistic guilt tripping tendencies and i am sick of it. am i wrong for wanting to get out? i feel like i need to but i would feel guilty.
L2021-02-26T21:50:45Z
It's super expensive to study abroad.............who's going to pay for this? Go to college, get a degree, get a good job and then travel.
Your dad is a controlling jerk and if your mom isn't helping you deal with this, so is she. It's the natural order of things that a child grows into an adult and now it is THEIR time to start their own life. If parents make you feel guilty, this is incredibly cruel. Find a sane older person you trust and talk to them about all this. They'll help you see how manipulative your parents are.
On the rest, odds are very low you'll be able to leave when you turn 18, simply because most of us don't even fully understand yet what this entails. It's mostly about finances. But still, there might be options. Do you have an older relative you like and trust? It doesn't have to be local and in some ways it might be better if it isn't. Don't use studying abroad as a way to escape. You'll have plenty of opportunities for this down the road, but for now, it's too big a step.
I have an idea that might work. Are you familiar with job corps? This is a great program that provides housing and further education for teens. The day you turn 18, you can walk out and do this. (You can do it before then, but you need parental permission ,which you won't get). Anyway, take a look at their brochure: www.jobcorps.gov
Also, whatever happens, don't make the common mistake of talking about this too much. This just adds stress, your parents pile on more guilt, and you'll end up backing off. Once you're at the point of finalizing plans, give your parents a day or 2 notice. In fact, technically you don't have to give notice at all. Get your stuff out while they're gone and leave a letter for them to read.