We have been married 3 years. My husband makes less than minimum wage. I have a profession and make the majority of our income. The little he does make he refuses to put in our joint account. Over the course of our marriage he has put on a ton of weight and is refusing to exercise or attempt to eat healthy. He snores all night and keeps everyone up in the house he will not go to a doctor to get evaluated. His health is on the line and he wants to deny he has a problem. He will wake up to use the bathroom then I will find him snoring asleep on the toilet. He has been in a car accident already where he is refusing to say he fell asleep. When asked what happened with the accident he states it was the other cars fault for stopping. Do you think this marriage is fixable? I have grown tired of him and his excuses. We share children and a home so this will not be easy but this isn’t a marriage anymore.
Barb Outhere2021-03-09T12:30:04Z
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Could most of his problems be springing from the fact he feels a lesser man for not bringing in the same sort of income as you do? Is that something that you yourself could have contributed to? Before seeking an ending perhasp seeking some counseling for him initially, and then for you as a couple might be worthwhile. Approach it from a position of concern rather than as a personal criticism.
Within a three year time period he began to make LESS than minimum wage, keeps his money for himself, put on weight, won't eat healthy, won't exercise AND snores? And you married him - why? You have how many children in 3 years? I wouldn't CARE about "fixing" it.
Multiple children in a 3 year marriage with... a man you barely knew when you wed? It's confusing that only 3 years in your husband is a man you are so thoroughly disappointed in. Did he have a major shift in personality? He refuses to see a doctor? How about you tell him that you REQUIRE that the father of your children see a doctor and address his physical and mental health. That you Require he do so. It's not an option. It's a requirement.
Since kids are involved, I think the 2 of you should get some couples counseling. This also serves as a "litmus test" to see whether he's open to change. Here's what I mean.
Ask around or read online reviews, find a good therapist and make an appt when you know he's available. Then sit him down and chat. It's very important that you not display anger or frustration. Tell him you love him and the family you've created, but you cannot live like this any longer. Do NOT blame him for anything, just calmly state it. Then tell him you've made this appt and you really hope he will agree to the counseling. If you keep this conciliatory rather than combative, what happens next will tell you what you need to know.
If he says yes, then you know he's overwhelmed but willing to try. It's also possible something else is involved he hasn't told you (like depression). Couples counseling can work wonders because when this stuff happens, there is ALWAYS bad communication on both sides.
However, if he refuses, he's telling you he knows you're miserable, but he can't or won't do anything to help fix this. It's safe to conclude the marriage is already over.