Divorced 6 years - Ex-wife wants me back?

I'm with my former spouse. We were together 6 years and had 1 son. We got divorced, and were apart 8 years, (of course had contact because of our son) In the 8 years we both dated (some serious) other people, but both were never really truely happy.

Our break up was over trust issues as well. The questions you need to ask yourself is: Do you still love her? It sounds like to me she was honest with you, and it must have been hard on her, to know she went looking for what she gave up.

The issues you have will work each other out, they go hand in hand.

I believe people deserve a second chance. Remember to error is human to forgive is devine.

The key is to start over, not from the very begining (that would be impossible) but from a point, like if you were friends, date each other fall back in love with each other.

Mine and my husbands relationship now is better then ever, we get along, we never fight, we have a great respect for each other.

The bottom line is... only you know if this is what you want, I personally would give it a try, you don't have to get married again, you could live together and see what it leads to.

Best of luck to you.

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First question...she didn't find her soulmate after your broke up did she? Well, hate to break it to you....she is just lonely and she remembers that you were not that bad of a guy (I am guessing) and she really just doesn't want to be loney anymore and you are there to fall back on.

You can always try again, but 6 years is a long time to realize that you DO love someone. She really should have known that right away if she was REALLY looking for her true love and soul mate. Don't you think?

You can always achieve foregiveness, you just do it as a single person...you don't have to sacrifice your happiness because she is miserable.

If you get the feeling that she is being sincere with you, give it a trial togetherness....but once she feels relaxed and she starts to withdrawl again I would nip it in the bud then and say "enough is enough". Don't let her take advantage of you being there for her. Make sure that you do your own things and you aren't shoved up each other's "you-know-what!" Tell her the boundaries and what you expect from her, but don't try to rule her either. You do have the upper hand here but don't take advantage of the situation. Don't try to rule her....don't use your mistrust as a weapon against her. If she really is serious she may try very hard to convince you of it...if not she will try to slide back into the setting as if nothing was ever wrong....that is a red flag....just be carefull.

My dad married his first wife twice. The first time was for 3 years, apart for 2 and remarried for one! But some people can make it work I guess.....I would just enter with caution! Good Luck!

People who are in love with their spouse don't cheat much less run off with other men. I hate to say but she stopped loving you in your marriage. She didn't care about you or your feelings when she took up a relationship with someone else. So now three years later, she realizes a mistake was made, maybe her new man wasn't all he was cracked up to be and she expects you to take her back. Doesn't matter how long it took you to find someone you could trust again, doesn't matter that you love someone else. Again, your feelings are irrelevant. It's about what she wants. I completely understand that you still have feelings for her but you have to think about what's best for YOU. Will you ever trust her again? Will you ever love or look at her the same again? Would you really be happier with her back in your life? The kids may want their family back but what kind of family will they have if their parents are always fighting or can't even love each other like they did? If I were you, I would continue to explore the new relationship you're in and tell your ex to back off. Tell her how you feel but also tell her she has proven that she can't be trusted. Why should you give up the relationship you have built up to this point for someone who discarded you 3 years ago? Don't let the kids influence your decision. Being together for the sake of children should NEVER be a reason why you're with someone, it won't work!

I disagree with some other people. I do not think this is a pride issue on your part. Rebuilding trust is HARD, as is forgiving someone who hurt you as badly as I imagine she must have. I think her reason for divorcing you was very childish, personally (no offense meant). She obviously married you thinking that you were "the one," and then divorced you because married life wasnt what she expected and for whatever reason she didnt feel satisfied.

Do you love her? Are you willing to put your anger at her treatment of you aside? Do you want to possibly go through this again?

Only you will know if she has grown in the past 6 years. Only she can know if she is going to be dissatisfied again. Protect your heart. I wish you the best.

My aunt tried for many years to go back to her ex-husband. There was just so much baggage from the relationship that there really couldn't be a way for them to get back together. There was a reason why you got a divorce. The reason wasn't just that she wanted to find a soulmate. Remember that reason. If there is a lot of baggage, than don't go back. Weigh the pros and cons and see which one makes more sense... I have a rule, NEVER GO BACK TO AN EX!!! They are an ex for a reason.

You don't have to go back to the old marriage. It's obvious she was looking for something she didn't get in the marriage.

From what you write, it's hard to say if she expected more from marriage than it really has to offer, or if you fell down on the job meeting her emotional needs.

The bottom line is, if you decide to pursue this opportunity, or look at it as the plague returning, I would look at any future relationship, with her or others to build a better marriage.

If BOTH of you have learned from your previous mistakes and have learned effective and healthy ways of dealing with a partner, working through issues and the ability to both express yourselves and listen to one another, then I certainly would give it a shot.

If she's just lonely, returning to that nice guy who ain't so bad afterall, I'd be wary of reopening that can of worms.

HTH,

BH

You would be one of the greatest men on earth if you found that strength to forgive her for destroying your trust, and in turn you'd be blessed, because she has swallowed her pride and re-stated that you are her soul mate!!!

We've all heard, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it was meant to be"... Hey buddy, you're living a legend. Question is can you overcome your pride to accept this gift?

Sounds like you are a great man who can do this. God bless this marriage the second time around.

Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/M3baX

This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.

maybe when she told you that u wasnt her soul mate she didnt know what she had until u wasnt there anymore and she couldnt find someone out there like you so know she wants to try things again. but u both have to want the same thing. if you dont want to do it dont or try going out a couple of times just to see what happens because people change in all kindas of ways yall may not even be the same to people yall was back then just try going out