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How can I get our friendship back the way it used to be?

A couple years ago, I borrowed money from my friend to buy something. She told me to pay her whenever I could afford to, no hurry. While helping her move, last year, she told me to forget the money in trade for helping her so much. A few months later, she lost her job. Not many months later, she started not speaking to me. When I asked her why, she wouldn't tell me. But I heard from others it was because I never paid her back the money I borrowed. We finally met, with witnesses, and she was very angry at me, calling me a liar, cheat and almost a thief. Though there were others who heard her tell me to forget it, they wouldn't come forward. I've paid her back now, and she still won't talk to me, even though she agreed that if I paid it back, everything would be done. We used to be really close, but now she won't even let her kids talk to me. I've asked her many times to forgive me & wanting to know what else I can do, but she doesn't want to be my friend. Please help. <*)))><

Update:

I've tried to hug her, but she goes the other way when she sees me. She's very angry with me and said I violated her trust, yet won't say how. I only heard from someone else that she lost her job, was on unemployment and is now working. It's just that all of this didn't start until she lost her job. I think being out of money made her mad at everyone who owed her money in the past. She used to throw money around like it was confetti, telling everyone to not worry about paying it back. She had a good paying job and acted like she had money coming out of thin air. Now that she can't live large anymore, she's shut off almost all her old friends, me included. I think there's no problem that can't be overcome.

Update 2:

You're right, I should allow people to e-mail me. I'm always leary of doing that though, 'cause I don't want someone sending me an attachment that has a bug. Even though I have Norton and Adaware & a few other programs, there are still things that can happen that I'm not literate enough to know how to deal with. So, unless you know of another way, this is me...being safe.

Update 3:

Thank you Natavia for your insight. You're right, she is mad at herself, and she has a hard time forgiving everyone who she thinks has crossed her. I've been there for her in the past, and if she wants me, I'll be there in the future. But, like you said, I've given it to God, and have finished paying her the money she loaned me. I'm finished. God's not. I also know that she's done some things that she knew was wrong, and is having a hard time forgiving herself for doing it. That's why I think she's having a hard time forgiving others. Thank you to all who spent the time responding to my situation.

5 Answers

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  • 2 decades ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hi Ms. Sandylynn!! I just wanted to let you know that when you let people e-mail you from here they can't send attatchments and if they do, you don't have to open it. :) You give the absolute best and most thought out answers of anyone on here and I want you to know that it doesn't go unnoticed and it is very much so appreciated. :)

    Oh, but to answer your question, I don't even think you should lose any sleep over this situation. You did nothing wrong and she is mad at herself, not you. I know you already have but pray about it and let God handle this and her. Only when she can find it in her heart to "forgive" you can she grow. Someone as nice as you, I know if you knew she needed help you would have been there for her. In conclusion, just pray about it and give it to God. It works for me. He can handle it far better than you can. I hope this helps!! :)

  • 2 decades ago

    I think that the crux of the matter is that you call her your friend and you forgot that a friend in need is a friend in deed - so you may not have helped her when she lost her job and was in need. The need may have been emotional too. I think now giving her money will not help. What you have to do is go to her place when she is alone and hug her and talk about the old times when you were one in days of old and dont feel bad about asking her to forgive you - She will!

  • 2 decades ago

    From what i hear, ur probably better off without her...let her grow up some more! And you aren't the one to blame so don't feel guilty or bad about what happened...it isn't worth it...either let her know how you feel (which i blv u've done) and tehn move on...

    G'luck hun!

  • 2 decades ago

    Hey, I know this has nothing to do with your question, but I updated a little on my question, and I'm curious of your input. You should allow people to e-mail you on here.

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  • 2 decades ago

    give her time let her relax and maybe when the time is right then she will forgive you.ive been in the same predicament.so leave her alone right now and then maybe time will tell and then see if she will talk to you

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