how do i find out how well my site compares with others?

Try for free here: Check the ranking of a web page in Google™ A free search engine optimization tool ->> http://www.googlerankings.com/

That's like comparing YaScrew mail to other mail or (unfortunately) 360 to other personal sites, They all suck. As far as Y!A it's self there are still to many unnecessary violations,suspensions and I find many people either can't tell when your joking or don't understand a question at all.

Ask the public what they think.Depends what its for,you DO NOT have to give out anything to anyone online.The other option as your friends,i know parents you dont like them to see your things because you like stuff to call your own.Ask friends,and peers alike.I know with asking peers its difficult but,it will give others a chance to learn something about you they didnt know.So,just share it with others and have them give you their opinions of it.

Post your link on Yahoo answers then ask us.