what's your opinion on this?

Question

if your boyfriend/husband tells you that the whole day belongs to you (mother's day) and it was your choice to do anything your heart desire. then, he tells you "oh by the way, we're going to go see my mother... the very last minute. you say it was not part of the plan and you really didnt want to see his mother because you'd rather spend it w/ just your b/f or hubby and the kids. he then calls you selfish and tells you that you should have assumed that. 
 what do you say or do? is it selfish of you to not want to spend your mother's day w/ noone else but your b/f or hubby and the boys or do you have the right to be selfish because he did tell you that you can do whatever you want. 
that happened to me today! i got called selfish and that i should have been a mind reader. i told him that i dont care if he wants to go see his mother but i wanted to spend all day w/ my 2 boys. 
what do you think?

Night Wolf · Accepted Answer

You are already a mother of two..

Will you not want your sons to visit you when you are old.. Will you not want to see your grand children..
Will you want to stay alone in ur house that too on mothers day..

Think about it for a while.. Doesn't a mother needs his child to be with him on mothers day.. Is it not selfishness to leave the mother alone.. that mother who has always been with the son all her life till he grew up to live individually.. 

Don't you love your kids and did u actually assume that your husbands/bf's mother dint love his son????

There can only be one - (ANSWER) · Answer

I just have to say `1 thing. You may have been called selfish, but at least the b/f acknowleged that you are a mother and wished you a happy day. My hubby didn't, and proceeded to tell me that I'm not his mom.

southerngal · Answer

I think he should have told you up front he wanted to go see his mom and maybe spent 1 hr over at his moms and then devoted the rest of the day to You and the Boy's. He was wrong, for not telling your that first before making the comment it was your day.

MMJett · Answer

Ok, I do think that's being a little selfish.  You want to be with your boys on Mother's Day...what makes you think she doesn't want to be with hers?  She has been his mother longer than you've been his wife/girlfriend (you didn't specify).  Especially if you're just the girlfriend, you can't tell him he can't see his mom on MOTHER'S DAY!!
Oh yeah..try spell check.

R.Y.M. · Answer

Hey, it's his mother he has the right to go see his mother. Just like your sons have the right to celebrate your day. 
That's the way it goes. 

However I think your man shouldn't have said the day was ALL yours if he didn't mean it

mazza · Answer

No i dont think you are being selfish.  You are right to stand up and say no.   It was your day to.   Men get funny when it comes to their mothers.   I do hope you mangaed to enjoy your day, after all that

garingercompany · Answer

In mens jeans it is normal to say one thing and then do something else. My bf used to do that to me alot. After a while I started asking him what it is he wanted to do and what not...it irrates the heck out of him now cuz I ask all the questions instead of him not ever making up his mind.

I dont see any jealousy in this. If he promised you something he should of followed through instead of changing his mind.

Anonymous · Answer

No it ain't selfish and you should just tell him that you wanted it to be that way. Tell him that he shouldn't tell you that you get to choose if he is gonna make the decision.
And then tell him that you shouldnt assume cause it makes well you should know the rest.

changeling · Answer

give his mom an hour and then share the rest of the day with husband and sons.Doesn't his mother at least deserve a little time on mom's day.?

Anonymous · Answer

WELL YOUR NOT SELFISH BUT THAT IS HIS MOM AND HE WANTED TO GO KICK IT WITH HER FOR A BIT. I WILL SAY HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT WAY EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN OUT ON THE TABLE AND YOU WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN TAKIN OFF GUARD BY IT. BUT CALLING YOU SELFISH WSA JUST PLAIN MEAN OF HIM ESPACIALLY IF HE TOLD YOU THE WHOLE DAY WAY YOURS. MY THING IS DEFINE YOURS.

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what's your opinion on this?

18 Answers