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Is it too late ?

My parents divorced when i was very young. I was very close to my dad since i was his only girl.He got remarried and i spend most of my school holidays at his home ,his wife had two children (boys ) and she really was mean with me.Just before my high school graduation she finally convinced my dad to get me out of their life for good or else she woule live him! So,my dad asked not to visit him anymore and to forget that he was my dad and move on since he has anew family.

Few years ago his wife left him ,too most of his wealth ,he got an accident ( he can't walk anymore) and he send me a long letter of apology .should i forgive him ,he hurt me so much.

Update:

I am angry,but feel sorry for him at the same time

18 Answers

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  • 2 decades ago
    Favorite Answer

    you need to tell him that and express yourself tell him you are hurt and you need answers as to why he did this. as for yourself you obviously done ok since then, so realize what you really need in life if he brings more pain you don't need him i your life

    Source(s): similar experience (very simialr)
  • helly
    Lv 6
    2 decades ago

    I am in the exact same situation. My dad broke off contact with me and my brother when I was 10. He had a new wife and family. I don't know if it was the new wife who wanted him to stop seeing us.

    I am now 31, and I haven't seen him since then. He ignores letters. Eventually last year I rang him. He was suitably shocked, and sent me a letter saying the reason he broke contact was basically because he was so hurt and damaged by his relationship with my mother!! I mean, what an a**hole! So I wrote a strongly worded letter back, getting all the years of hurt off my chest, and felt so much better. I don't hurt any more.

    It is entirely up to you whether or not to forgive him. If you feel it would help you to heal, then do it. If you need to tell him in no uncertain terms how you have felt all these years, then do that. This man has done the worst thing a parent can do, and he will never fully understand what he has done. You are in control at last here, so make your decision carefully. The most important thing to remember is to look after yourself here, and not let him hurt you any more than he already has.

  • 2 decades ago

    I am very sorry to hear that dear. I think the most important question here is whether he has anybody taking care of him at the moment, I dunno, just follow your heart. If I were you I'd prolly go visit him and have a good talk, and tell him how much he's hurt me, vent everything out, since I have the total right to do that, and move on and forgive him I guess, everybody makes mistakes, and from the sound of it, it's more so of your stepmom's fault.

    He's your daddy after all, and I am sure you still care for him dont you?! :)

    Gluck dear, I'll keep you in my prayers.

  • Molly
    Lv 6
    2 decades ago

    Yes. Definitly forgive him. He was just afraid of living out the rest of his life alone without a loving companion. He probably assumed you knew that and he didn't mean for it to sound like he didn't want you in his life anymore.

    Besides that, MOST kids grow up and hardly have anything to do with their parents once they have their own lives. In HIS mind, he could not count on your being there for him 100%. Not in slight but that just seems to be the way the world works today,

    He can't read your mind.

    It sounds like he loves you very much and misses you.

    I'll bet he wishes he had NEVER said that.

    Forgive him. He loves you and we all need as many people in our lives as possible that truly love us.

    He won't make THAT mistake again, especially when you come to him and tell him that everything is OKAY.

    That makes you out to be someone that ALL of us wish we had in our lives. It's a rare and special quality to be able to put the past behind you.

    Atleast we know he had a good reason. It wasn't out of lack of love for you.

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  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    no wonder your nick is ghetto chick. You're an idiot.

    Listen, no one can tell you what to do in this situation, but try these two things:

    A) The reasonable person test. Ask yourself, "What would a reasonable person do?"

    B) I lost my mother in 01, and my father a couple months ago. My relationship with my mom was outstanding. Not so close with my dad but not bad either. I haven't got many regrets. I'm lucky in that way. The point is, death hasn't much power except that of regret. If you're dad died tomorrow and you didn't make the effort today, would you regret it forever?

  • 2 decades ago

    for sure you should forgive , father , mother,brother and sister are all one spirit which divided in many bodies , its exactly like when you have a head each you cant cut your head but you will do your best to fix it , and be sure that daddy loves u or otherwise he will not ask for forgiveness and , don't forget that there is another life after death , so all the time you lost far from dad is nothing , a lot of love is coming and a lot of good memories too .

    he loves you be sure about that

  • Am really sorry. THis is real bad. I wud suggest you to forgive you dad for what so ever he did to you. May be God has punished him for the same.

    Being a daughter of your dad, visit him and let him know that you dont have anything in your mind. Take him back to home, serve him well. He really needs you. Forget everything. God has also given you one chance to get closer to your dad and to God as well. This wud be th best of examples of humanity.

    So go ahead and have him right next to you and serve him. Let me know if you need any suggestion. :)

  • 2 decades ago

    i think every human being makes mistakes n if he is repentent, then he deserves forgiveness... i know what ur dad did wasnt right n it hurt u alot.. his behaviour with u was very irresponsible.. but now he has realised his folly.. he was wrong at that time but u shouldnt behave like he did at that time... instead u should forgive him n take care of him.. afterall he's ur dad.. i think u should act like a matured girl n go back to him... thats the only way out.. forget what he did n take ur responsibility... tit for tat is not the right thing to do here...

  • Anonymous
    2 decades ago

    He really does not deserve your forgiveness. If you can't forgive him, no one will blame you. If you want to forgive him and still love him a bit, you could still see him or phone him once in a blue moon. It's really up to how you feel about how close you want to be with him. If you don't want to have anything to do with him, he should accept his fate, since he actually severed ties with you.

  • 2 decades ago

    "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors"

    If for no other reason, forgive him for your own peace of mind, Be kind, and cordial, and honor your father as the co-giver of your life.

    However, forgiveness does not necessarily mean trying to renew the relationship as it was before her hurt you. He is alone now, and very likely lonely. Be careful that his apology could be a ploy for a caregiver. You are not responsible for his care, as he hardly cared for you. But you are also not entitled to not forgive.

    Remember, when you forgive, you let go of the anger... and then it is up to him to forgive himself.

  • 2 decades ago

    it's never late to forgive , just spread ur love to ppl , and forgive , it's not for them it's for u to feel great , that u had such a good soul to forget ,

    and besides , he now knows he'd done not a good thing to u ,

    go ahead and forgive him and let other know how ur heart is!

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