How do you keep birds off your mailbox. I don't want a fake owl sitting on it, though.?

Spray the top with a non-stick pan spray. If you do get some poop the it will come off.

Granular rat poison will kill most small birds.

A flapping flag or ribbon may scare them away or a little twirling propeller. There are many cute ones for gardens.

Why don't you want an owl, or a cat? Too tacky? Either way it's got to be better than bird poo.

If ther is some way to suspend thin strings or wires above your box, the birds won't be able to land there.

Call Cheney, he exterminates birds for fun.

i learned to rid myself of ants by finding something they did not like. Smells, and visual things work.

put bird seed on it.

put those little pidgeon spikes on them.

get a bb gun