What would you do....???

Yes, you are right that an affair is always about more than sex...especially if they are still friends. Your fiancee is sharing his thoughts and feelings with this other girl and not with you. That is worse than the sexual cheating...it is emotional cheating. how can he bond with you when he is bonding with her?

I don't think your fiancee is ready for a committed relationship...sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too. As long as you are willing to accept that, that is the way it is going to be. Most guys who cheat, cheat more than once...so even if he breaks up with her, he could cheat again after you are married. Why would you want that?

I would dump him now and move on...as hard as that is. Count your blessings that you found out what kind of character he has before you got married. You deserve someone who thinks you are the world...this guy ain't it.

A guys point of view:

I think that it's one of those situations that you need to sit down and think about very hard.

Do you honestly feel that you still have a future together?

In the early stages normally all you can think about is getting back together but you have to try and look past that.

Is this the first time that he has done this?

And do you believe that he is honestly sorry for what he has done?

How long was the affair for? If it was just a one night stand then I think forgiveness could be given, if it was over a reasonable period of time then I think you have to look carefully at the situation asking yourself what was missing from the relationship?

I think I would find it hard to forgive and be able to trust again but that's me.

If your fiance is having an affair before you are even married, then your relationship has some serious problems. The fact that he insists on keeping her as a friend also tells me he has little respect for you. I would think long and hard about marrying this guy.

Ya know, it's great if you've got a relationship that allows everyone to stay friends with the opposite sex. That's healthy, I think. But if he's already been having an affair with this person, it's pretty unrealistic of him to think he can carry on a friendship and still have you trust him.

It doesn't sound to me like you're his priority. I'd dump him. There are better guys out there.

My husband(at the time)told me he was just friends with this girl,I told him if he was just friends and helping her out then he wouldn't mind if I could help too,he said no he has to do this by himself,I even told him if he loved me,he would stop being with the other girl well,to make a long story short,his friends were telling me they were boy friend and girl friend,he never stopped seeing her so I finally said goodbye to him 5 months later.If the guy had an affair and still wants to be friends with the one they cheated with and still wants to be with you,then it's not really over like he said,take it from experience,I know,dump him,find someone who only have eyes for you.Good luck!

WOW!!! not only did he disrespect you by cheating on you, he is now so uncaring about your feelings that he is insisting on staying friends with the person he cheated with?!?!?!?! Why are you letting him treat you this way? We teach people how to treat us, you know that this will not get any better, don't you? he's supposed to be your fiancee! If he can't commit to you now, do you think he's going to do it as your husband? My fiancee cheated on me 10 days before the wedding, and I didn't know what to do, I had noone to talk to, everything was done, invitations were sent, so i married the jerk. Guess what happened? He cheated again, several times, and we went through a messy divorce. I wasted 5 years of my life, that i can't get back. Take my advice, don't waste another second on someone who has such disregard for your feelings. You deserve so much better.

Sorry to say this, but i wouldnt have taken him back. A leopard never changes its spots as the saying goes. I would be highly suspicious of him wanting to stay friends with this girl. There may still be unfinished business. If you can forgive him the affair then u will have to trust him but it seems he is putting this "friendship" above ur relationship (sorry).

If it was my fiance im not sure could have even forgiven him as for staying friends with the other person, i would put my foot down & say no

I say tell him ur friend or me. He did you wrong so u get to set the rules of how you get back on tract. My dad cheated on my mom more than once and all the times it just happened, if he doesn't set it up to happen, then it won't. It's a simple request y is it so hard?? And y are u taking it from him? dump his butt.

I'm sure you can trust your fiance to not be having sex with his boyfriend any more and that they are just good friends. Maybe if you trusted him more he wouldn't have needed to go with another guy who understood him better?