She drinks, she smokes, she leaves the baby alnoe, but isn't a BAD MOM a better parent than the state or the c

I know that this is supposed to be about my best friend. But when it comes to is it better to leave a child with a bad parent or the state...

It really depends on how bad the parent is. If she is endangering the child then it is best to call Children and Youth. I believe that you can still be a good parent smoking and drinking. It really depends on what they are smoking and how much they are drinking though. And does it lead them to endanger their child also or even more.

Most foster care agencies are reliable. They do alot of extensive testing on the foster parents physically, mentally and emotionally. They make sure their home is safe for children. They even make sure that there is not too much going on in their daily lives to deal with anymore children.

There are some bad foster parents out there. But it is really not that much. There is way more children in foster care than we care to even hear about. So we may think that we are hearing alot of bad cases of foster parenting but it is really an insignifigcant number as compared to how many children are even in foster care:

As of September 30, 2003, there were an estimated 523,000 children in foster care.

The state may go overboard in everything but their intentions really are good depending on where you live. There are some areas that are worse than others. Like Philadelphia, PA.

So I feel that it really depends on how bad a parent is. Like if the parent attacks their child or starves them or anything along those lines, then it is probably best to hand them over to the state. If is only minor maybe they can give their child up temperarily while they get their act together.

Another way to look at it is that it may not be good to give them up if the parent is not that bad because that child will be living with other people. The younger they are the more they will bond with the foster parents and hate their real parents.

So, I am leaning more towards Children and Youth. But as I said it really is a case by case basis. I am open minded to either one. Since both sides are good and bad. So seriously anyone who is one sides on this question is WRONG!

Hell no. Not if the baby is in danger. If the child is left unattended on a bed, it could roll off and sustain serious even life threatening injuries. The foster care system may not be perfect, but they do their best and if they can find a permanent home for this child, where they will be looked after, then that is really the best we can hope for. How do you define a bad mom? Surely one that is so negligent in her care of the child is not a fit guardian.

I am a mother who smokes and i drink a little but i don't consider that being a bad mom what i do consider being a bad mom is leaving your kids alone by themselves when they are not old enough to stay by them selves. and no i don't consider a bad mom being better then the state i am sorry they are there to protect children when parents just don't care kids need things and the state can give it to them if a parent chooses not to be a parent anymore

NO! Calling in the authorities doesn't necessarily mean she will lose the child but it will be an intervention to get the child the care he needs and the mom the help she needs to learn how her child MUST be cared for. If this continues, the child is definitely at risk. Mom needs parenting skills and drug and alcohol counseling. She needs to learn that baby comes FIRST! BAD MOM is NOT OK.

NO! The county or state can provide the child with a foster home where they will actually be treated as human beings and not as a commodity. Get the kid out of there, before she kills them.

I know 2 kids whose mother had been in jail for a long time and they had been bounced along from foster home to children's home and back, finally the grandmother got temp. custody of them. I met her and became friends with her, even though there was a considerable age difference. Pretty soon I was watching the kids alot. Like for 4 or 5 days at a time. The boy was a year older than my daughter and the girl was a year younger than my son. They were just the right age to fit into my family perfectly, and I got my heart broke because I fell in love with them. When my husband decided to tell her that she needed to quit partying (yes, the grandmother!), going to bars, and to stay home with her grandkids, or she needed to sign them over to someone who wanted to devote the time to these bright, loving kids, she got angry and told the mom we just weren't appropriate to take care of her kids. So when the mom got out of jail, and went back to jail a few months later, she just put them back in a children's home. Now when I had these kids, they both told me that I was the best mom they ever had, even though they still loved their mom, and they wished they could live with our family. They also told me awful stories about foster homes that would just make you cry. However, if the mom you know is leaving her baby alone, a least a foster parent would be there to make sure the baby was ok. Although, if you had any interest in taking care of this baby at all, I would ask the mom to sign over temp custody without getting the state involved. If you get cps involved, they will completely take over, and almost no one you know will be able to get the baby, unless you jump through hoops and do all kinds of stuff, according to what this grandmother once told me. (Although I can't ask her for specifics, because we are no longer hang out. Once I observed her parenting style, it was apparent to me why her daughter was in jail, although I know that we are not suppose to judge. Anyway. I guess it's up to you to make the choice that you can best live with. I know that you know something needs to be done. If your looking for options, I hope this helps. But I know that you already know in your heart what needs to be done. Decide on your option and get it done, because waiting doesn't make it any easier, and it may provide just enough time for the baby to get hurt. I know this is hard, but it sounds to me like everyone out here is rooting for you, please come back and let us know how it turns out.

I won't say u r wrong or right, that's not the was state and county look at it. If you neglect the kid, you violate the law. Off course sometimes its so silly too. like its freezing cold, child is sick, u need to go get some grocery and u have no help!

I left a comment for her to call Child Protective Services if she really cared about the child's welfare. She would live with regret if something were to happen to that baby. Some people just weren't meant to be parents.

NO. Someone else could be there and provide love for this child in a loveless existence. He should have a chance to get it while the gettings good. Infancy is when we need love the most.

I got here in at 3am completely trashed and he became sitting on the kitchen island concern interpreting a e book and that i unfold out the refrigerator and fell stunning in to it and he is going "Whats incorrect??" and that i reported "Umm i think of i'm getting a chilly!!" and that i ran off rapidly. He did no longer even seize on.