my ps2 keeps making weird noises and it doesnt read ps2 discs any advice?

Well definitely don't drink anything it gives you then!

It sounds like your disc drive is on its last legs. This is very common in PS2s these days, especially the older-style ones that have been in use for a few years. If you take it in to a repair shop they MAY be able to fix the disc drive, but odds are your system has reached the end of its life. Sad, I know! It happened to me about a year and a half ago. You can try to prolong it by getting a lens cleaner for the PS2 and cleaning any scratches off your game discs with a skip dr, but even that won't help much in the end. The laser that reads the discs starts having mechanical problems after the PS2 has been in use for a long time (that's almost definitely the weird noise you're hearing). You may just have to accept defeat and invest in a new one. Sorry for the bad news!

Re: Other advice...

I'm 99% sure it's not your games - because it's happening with all your discs, not just one or two. That and the noises. Don't risk screwing them up by cutting them or covering them with packing tape! The way discs work is that there's 2 layers on the "read" side. One is the layer with all the data, the other is a buffer layer of relatively unimportant protective plastic that covers the read layer and protects it from scratches. This is what gets scratched and scuffed (that's what it's there for), and when it becomes hard to read it's not because the disc is "damaged" (well at least the read portion), it's because the light from the cd laser lens reflects poorly off the uneven surface. Adding more layers of other stuff (such as tape) is not going to help as well as simply getting a skip dr which buffs down the protective layer a bit each time you use it, lessening the extent of the scratches (but also shrinking the size of the protective layer each time, until eventually there's nothing left to protect the data layer).

Also, do NOT turn your PS2 vertical if it has been horizontal! Having the system vertically is worse on the disk tray than having it horizontally (think about the physics of gravity, the tray rests evenly and gravity holds the disc in place when the system is horizonal, while it's not quite as "evenly" kept in place vertically).

This is actually quite simple to fix. I had the same problem. You have to adjust the gear wheel on the inside of the PS2 in order to fix it. Basically you have to pull the cover off the PS2, and use a tiny screwdriver or even a butter knife to adjust the wheel a couple clicks left or right. The wheel adjusts the height of the laser from the disc.

It should fix the problem right up for you. This isn't the exact source that I used, but it's the same procedure and should walk you through it step by step. It only takes about 10 minutes to do it and your PS2 will work wonders once you do:

http://arstechnica.com/articles/paedia/hardware/ps...

This is a common problem with early versions of the PS2. It means the Laser lens is damaged. It might still be able to read some discs, but unlike Microsoft Sony will not replace the defective units. It would be cheaper to buy a new PS2 or if you can afford it just get a PS3 than to fix it.

I can help! This will also work when you try to play PS1 disks and they do the same thing.

Get some clear packing tape.

Carefully place just enough over the top of the disk (the label side) to cover the hole.

Then with an exacto knife or sharp scissors or knife, carefully cut out the "hole" of tape over the hole in the disk.

Now try the disk. It will probably play!

This has helped me play older PS2 games like Ico, and lots of older PS1 games.

Good luck!

what ever you do try not to touch the lense of your PS2 or it wont read discs at all, if you can see smudges though take a dry Kleenex and wipe it once. but also try cleaning out the cooler or breather whatever ya wanna call it.

OMG! THE EXACT SAME THIG HAPPENED TO MY PS2!

is this what happens?

you put a disk in and it starts loading the game, but before it can get to the menu it stops and makes a loud clicking noise.

if it is the answer is (this is gonna sound stupid but it works):

JUST TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN! this worked for me. whenever you play turn the ps2 upside down. it really works!

haha very funny. But I think that the little laser inside the michine that reads the ***** is either broken or covered by dust or something. I would bring it in to some game shop and have it cleaned (not all of them do it). Or it could be that all of your games ar to scratched up or somethin

if its laying down stand it up. u dont need a stand. then buy a lens cleaner(10-15$) at wal-mart. it might be ur disc do (this might sound crazy) flush it in the toilet. the water cleans it and helps with scatches. just make sure its not big enough to swallow ur disc. trust me, it works.

This happend to my xbox too,but all you have to do is try to open up your ps2 and get a dry rag and keep wiping till almost spotless.Guess what was in my xbox,hint:it has eigth legs.

try cleaning the len with one of those cd/dvd cleaner, give it general check up.