What do females get out of harboring hate and ill will towards someone who has hurt them?

I don't think women LIKE being angry or hateful, but it is our emotions that take over. Sure we could let it go, but it is something that bothers us! that is not something that can be helped. We would have to consciously work on NOT getting mad or hurt rather than just being that way. The younger you are the harder it is I think.

It isnt just women who think this way. Men do the same they just do it differently. Its quite easy for one to say to simply forget it and move on however we as people need companionship or a sense of socialization. This is how we were designed. Therefore when someone hurts another the immediate reaction is to put up your defense and hate that person. This is the bodies way of fighting off (so to speak) this feeling.

In all reality though you never really can get over this hurt unless you let it go. We as people must learn this. Its unfortunate but most people think this way. What a better place it would be if all people simply forgave!!

i think its because women are emotional and we easily pour out our feelings! when we get hurt, we hurt! as women we allow our emotions to take control not realizing how much we blind ourselves from whats comming in the future! like for instance: i fall in love with this guy and we been togther for 2 years and he tells me that he doesnt love me anymore and that he has moved on with another! after all this time, he finallly confesses that he never loved me and that i was in love but wasnt loved!- it will make any woman feel like a fool if this were to happen ! - back to anwsering you question: i think that when we harbor on something that someone has done to us because we arent really over that person (if it were a boyfriend) or sometimes we have a hard time of letting go! and we end up making the mistake again by dwelling on that pain by allowing the hurt to be comforting ! and that is crazy- its true!

Its all about chemicals. Men get a rush from blowing things up, speed, adrenaline testosterone filled kind of things. For women it tends to be drama, good or bad. Ever notice how women love those tear jerker movies even though they cry. I equate a woman holding onto something that causes this "drama" to a guy not wanting to give up his motorcycle.

there is a very fine line between love and hatred. you love and hate the thing you need the most. and love can turn to hatred in the blink of an eye, or the turn of a phrase, or the closing of a door. men do it too, otherwise women would not have to take out restraining orders against violent boyfriends/husbands. it's not just women.

Anger or resentment may be the ONLY thing the woman has left to call her own. It's sad, but true. Although all that bad karma is actually hurting her, it makes her feel like SHE'S in control.

Well I don't hate anyone, however, I will NEVER gorgive the man who hurt me. Why should I forgive someone who ruined my life, was verbally abusive, and who pretty much put me off relationships for the greater part of my teenage years?

Forgiveness isn't always deserved. Both men and women are known to hold grudges or seek vengeance for a "wrong" or hurt done to them, it's not a chick-only trait.

However, karma tends to take care of things in its time...what goes around comes around...vengence is just setting yourself up for negative repercussions...but just because you may choose not to forgive someone for a hurt done to you, doesn't mean you need to carry it around as baggage with you for the rest of your life.

People need to learn to close the situation and walk away. Toting around ill will for someone over a period of time causes you to be someone others don't tend to want to spend too much time around...and can cause your whole demeanor to become one of unpleasantness...

i held on to so much hate towards my ex boyfriend,but i realized it was a waste of time,i was spending all my time being angry with him and holding on to so much hurt,but once i let it go it felt so good,i am not saying i am not still a little bitter but i am getting over it

I know. I think to have all that bitterness inside you must stop you from being a totally happy person. You should just let it go

Come now, we guys do it just the same. I suppose it is easier to accept the loss of that person in your life if you harbor hatred towards them.