I want a copy of the email - Application to become an Illegal Alien..............?

It was an actual letter that made the radio waves

June 7, 2006

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes

309 Hart Senate Office Building

Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue

Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the

Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the

process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal

alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for

which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is

accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five

years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and

income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I

see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone

figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have

had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding

two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine.

Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?

This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid

heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would

receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal

(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be

most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Name withheld

Not an application but it is the closest I could come!!!!

Thinking Of Becoming An Illegal Alien In Mexico?

Here's A List Of Demands For President Fox So Things Are Equal

To make things fair David M. Bresnahan has put together a list of demands that Mexico needs to implement to make things equal for those Americans who wish to become an "undocumented immigrant" in Mexico.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don’t enforce any labor laws or tax laws.

13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

I've seen a job application for jobs American's just won't do... is that the one you're talking about?