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How can I help my daughter with fights at school?

She was friends with a girl, then the girl turned on her for no reason and got everybody on her side. They pick on her and threatened to beat her up. My daughter is really sweet and don't derserve this. She is not as popular because she doesn't cuss or date yet, but is a really good person...seriously, what do I do? They are 12/13 year olds, and have to go to school together, I already talked to the principle with no help, and there is too many of them for my daughter to stand up and fight....

13 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well being17, i have totally been in her shoes. You need to just be there for her to talk to and let her know that violence is definatly not that way to go. You want her to be able to stand up for herself without physically fighting. she needs to learn right from wrong and at that age she is influenced by everyone. do not encourage her to fight with fists. tell her she needs to stand up for herself with her words (as corny as that is). she will need you to talk to so she doesnt feel alone. encourage her to make new friends. i am sure there is SOMEONE out there that would be more than happy to have a new friend. anyways. good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    She will learn now or never to take the higher road. I applaud your parenting that brought up a 12 yr old not to cuss and to wait to date. The best you can do is to support her. Let her know you love her and that she is doing the right thing. She will find friends who accept her and her values. I had a very hard time in Junior High because of my values. I ended up with most of the school against me as well. To the point where I had to be escorted to class for a week until things calmed down. It was a hard year or so, but I found people who stuck with me, and I grew as a person. I still have a hard time because of my values in some situations (I'm in my 20's now) but it's all a part of life and a part of growing, I got past it then, i can make it through now.

  • the real solution is to keep encouraging your daughter to talk to you about this - keep communicating with her - listen to what she is saying and acknowledge her feelings. Don't just give her solutions - help her to find her own solutions. ie... if she says "that girl makes me so mad" say back to her " I can see how angry she makes you" - it will help her to know that you are listening and then maybe she will be able to tell you more of what is happening and find a solution to the problem.

    I have found that principals only get involved once the fight has become physical. You need to be involved before that. If you are truly concerned - get your daughter into a self-defense class. She will learn courage and self-discipline. She will have the ability to defend herself if need be and both of you will have some relief knowing that. Remember what it was like to be 12/13 and that most girls are just talk. Encourage your daughter to try to find other people to be around - there is safety in numbers.

    If this doesn't work- plant yourself in the principals office everyday until he gets tired of it and does something!

    good luck to you and your daughter!

  • 1 decade ago

    I know how u feel! I have a 15 year old son and there r people at his school who r always bullying others! My son stood up for a girl just last week cuz they were picking on her. She is 3 years younger than they were. i wish I had an answer for you- this is the hardest one ever!!! U could try talking to their parents BUT that could always make it worse!!! Hire her a teen body guard from school that will watch out for her while she is away! Years ago- I would have said it will all work out- BUT look at all the school shootings and crap now! Its too serious to ignore!!!! My heart is with you

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  • 1 decade ago

    U Should Tell The Principal Or Change Her School Or Home School Her.....Best Thing!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    they will not fight her trust me im 13 and no what ur talkin about those girls threating her will not put a finger on her cause they are all bluff i no this cause same thing have happend to me the will just pic on her but not hurt her try to tell ur daughter to talk to the girl who started this tell her to ask the girl what she ever did to her and if the girl tells her what she is mad about tell ur daughter to say she is sorry (even if she did nothing or isnt sorry) then the will make up and if ur daughter is cool with the girl who started it than every body else will be to trust me on this one ive did it lots and lots of times

  • 1 decade ago

    ok listen, the first thing is to start looking at cops and stuff, to pick up moves and all, then make a very simple weapon, a shank, or get a cheapo ring and take out the stone so when they pick on her she can show them the ring and if it comes to it, itl leave a scar in the person she punches.

    or i can come ova and electricuit the lil bastards

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If no one will help you then teach you daughter how to fight cause thats the only way they will leave her alone. It sad but true. Dont take he out of skool cause that makes it look like she running from her problem and you dont want to teach her that at an early age.

  • Peace
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Change schools, it looks like if it's out of your power. Your daughter shouldn't have to put up with that stuff no matter what, no one deserves that.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    not the best way to handle it..... if its really bad... i would say home schooling..... talk to the other parents and see how they react to the situation. if nothing i would call the schoolboard. have go down to the guidence councler. its really a hard call to suggest but as long as your doing your part as a mother there is really nothing else you can do

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